::FREE PRAYER::

My Naked Heart

2010-05-16T06:45:00.000+07:00

Don't want you to see me like this, don't want you to know how it really is,
I put on this smile 'til you go away, and hope that my eyes don't give me away,
And I can pretend that everything is alright; I've gotten really good, I've done it all of my life,
I keep you at a distance so you can't tell I'm not doing very well.

If you find out who I really am...
If I show you what I keep in the dark...
Stripped of my defences, can your love really clothe my naked heart?

I've gotten so used to having this pain, can't imagine it could ever change,
If I should look at he truth inside I feel like I might not survive,
So I wrap up this part that doesn't look good; I make it look lovely, like I think it should,
But if you only know who I pretend to be I'll never know if you could really love me.

If you find out who I really am...
If I show you what I keep in the dark...
Stripped of my defences, can your love really clothe my naked heart?

(If you find out who I really am...
If I show you what I keep in the dark...
Stripped of my defences, can your love really clothe my naked heart?)

If you find out who I really am...
If I show you what I keep in the dark...
Stripped of my defences, can your love really clothe my naked heart?

Risen from the Deep Sleep

2010-02-02T17:49:00.004+07:00

I am back!

Ah well, it's been almost a year that I have neglected this blog. No, I did not forget to update this blog. I was just so uninspired to write something religious or share my spiritual journey, as I haven't experienced any :(

This new year has inspired me to develop my spiritual journey and to share some (again) through this blog.

So, I hope this time I can be more inspired and discipline to update this blog.

How are you, anyway?

He's not finished with me yet

2009-05-06T23:59:00.001+07:00

A very nice song i listened at KSBJ online radio.
It appears to be a very great encouragemnt for my situation now.

Waith And See - Brandon Heath

I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor said I was lucky to be alive

I’ve been trouble since the day that I got here
Trouble till the day that I disappear
That’ll be the day that I finally get it right

Chorus

There is hope for me yet
Because God won’t forget
All the plans he’s made for me
I have to wait and see
He’s not finished with me yet

I never really was that good in school
I talked too much, broke the rules
Teacher thought I was hopeless fool alright

I don’t know how but I made it through
It’s one of those things that you’ve gotta do
But I always had a knack for telling the truth

Still wondering why I’m here
Still wrestling with my fear
But oh, He’s up to something
And the farther on I go
I’ve seen enough to know
That I’m, not here for nothing
He’s up to something

So now’s my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No telling where I’m ending up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart it’s one of my dreams
All I gotta do is hold on tight

With Hope

2009-05-04T01:08:00.001+07:00

I dedicate this song to my beloved friend and sister, who has just lost her husband in a road accident in Indonesia.

Please lift up my friend and their almost-1-year-old daughter in your prayer. Thank you

Ask God to give you sweets

2009-04-29T18:25:00.002+07:00

Once a boy went to a shop with his mother. The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets...'

But the child didnt take. The shop keeper was surprised.. such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets....

Now the mother also heard that and said.. "take the sweets dear.." Yet he didnt take. The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets. He himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.

While returning home the Mother asked the child... "Why didnt you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?"

Can you guess the response?

Child replies... "Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take few.. but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... how many more sweets i got!"

Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives... HE gives us more beyond our expectations. .. more than what we can hold..!!

Being 33

2009-02-25T05:21:00.004+07:00

I accidentally downloaded this song a couple of weeks ago. I just found out the lyric and the meaning of this beautiful song.

It is beyond the matter of being 33.

Feels like a milestone
Being in my 30
Friends become mothers and fathers
With little ones of their own
So and so's a doctor
A lawyer and accountant
So and so's got married
They've got a lifetime ahead
A beautiful lifetime ahead

33, the age that You died for me
Now here I am at 33
33, You crowned it with Your life upon a tree
The mystery of Your love for me

We could have been schoolmates
Studying together
We could have had tea and scones
And talked about our day
You walk this path before me
Living close to guide me
You're thirsty for someone
To show a little care
You've hidden in faces everywhere

(Corrinne May - 33)

For me, it is kinda a trigger for me to think what I have been doing so far.
I am almost 25 (gosh!)
What have I done?
Have I done any significant things?
Have I set examples to others?
Have I showed my love and cared someone else?

Try harder, I suppose

If...

2009-01-27T05:03:00.003+07:00

If you could ask God one question

What would it be?

Mine would be "Do You really love me?"

You can watch this video if you like. The questions really struck me.

Considering to apply for Phd

2009-01-15T01:02:00.001+07:00

Define L-O-V-E

2009-01-14T04:51:00.003+07:00

What is love for you, Nia?
A good friend of mine asked.

It is a good question. Shakespeare, too, was trying to figure that out.

They do not love that do not show their love.
The course of true love never did run smooth.
Love is a familiar. Love is a devil. There is no evil angel but Love.

He wrote.

But, how would you define love in a not-Shakespeare term?

Falling in love likes liking something or someone, and you cannot get enough of it. You want more, more and more.

It is for me.

It is like when you say “I love chocolate!”

You so love it that you cannot get enough of it. You cannot resist the temptation to have more, more, and more.

Whatever form it may possess, you still love it! Whether it is small, big; beautifully wrapped or just a big, ugly chunk of it. You just gonna love it!

It is how I define love.

You start falling in love with someone. You cannot stop thinking about him. You cannot stop wanting to meet him. You just met, but you want to meet again. You just had dinner, but you so need to call him before you go to bed.

You cannot get enough of him.

You want to see him. You want to hear his voice. You want to meet him. You want to get a grip of his hand, even though they are the same five-fingers hands all the time, yes, you want to hold these hands like, forever!

Call me childish, but isn’t love so beautifully childish?

And another good thing of being falling in love is it lasts forever!

Another friend perceives love as home.
Yes, a home!

Everywhere you go, anywhere you go; you will go back to a home. Wherever it is, isn’t it? It could be your hometown. It could be your second hometown. It could be anywhere!

But a real home is where your beloved one is.

It doesn’t matter when time is rough. It doesn’t matter when the storm strike, because you are home, with the one you love the most.

I agree. I approve her definition of love.

Refer to what my friend asked earlier “what is love for you, Nia?”

I guess, these are my definitions.

Does yours the same? Or even better?

Let’s fall in love!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T05:30:00.000+07:00

“Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.”

Oren Arnold

This Christmas Makes Me Cry

2008-12-23T03:00:00.002+07:00

Celebrating Christmas in the Netherlands is something I have wanted so bad, since my return to Indonesia; especially 2006, I cried so bad missing my friends and family in the Netherlands.

Yet, this year, having the opportunity to celebrate the joy of Christmas here, I regret my longing, saying in my heart "I wish I could be home for Christmas".

This year is indeed a tough year.

This Christmas makes me thinking of my grandparents, especially my grandma, who passed away last August, some weeks before my depature to the Netherlands.

I dedicate this song, and this Christmas, to my grandma.

Miss you, grandma

I think of loved ones who’ve passed away
And I pray their resting in a better place
I think of memories of years gone by
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of soldiers across the sea
And Sometimes I wonder why its them instead of me
For my freedom they give their lives
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

Tears of thankfulness, tears of hope
I cry tears of joy at Christmas cause I know
There is peace on earth for every heart to find
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

I think of families, I think of home
And say a prayer for those who spend this time alone
Cause love can reach out into a silent night
And that’s why Christmas makes me cry

I think of Mary and the virgin birth
And I’m amazed at how much God thinks we’re worth
That He would send His only Son to die
And sometimes Christmas makes me cry

Click here to listen to the song

Lonesome Blog

2008-12-15T08:04:00.003+07:00

According to Typealyzer, my blog's personality is:

ISTJ - The Duty Fulfillers

The responsible and hardworking type. They are especially attuned to the details of life and are careful about getting the facts right. Conservative by nature they are often reluctant to take any risks whatsoever.

The Duty Fulfillers are happy to be let alone and to be able to work int heir own pace. They know what they have to do and how to do it.

Or is it more about the owner's personality? -.-

Don't Quit, Nia

2008-12-01T19:10:00.000+07:00

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest If you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

source

Don't Give Up

2008-11-10T20:57:00.002+07:00

This is a story of George Sampson, the winner of British's Got Talent 2008. He was such a cutie and, of course, a good dancer.

One thing that I adore from this boy is his attitude. He failed to make to the final in 2007; yet he didn't give up. Yes, he was disappointed! But, he didn't just crawl up and cry, but he tried harder. He practiced harder. He trained. He performed. And, voila! He came back in 2008.

This attitude has won the judges, too.

You should look at his audition, too

Words of Inspiration

2008-11-10T07:17:00.001+07:00

"If you can use anything Lord, You can use me"

Ron Kenoly - Use Me (God is Able) Lyric

Our Four Sons

2008-10-23T15:31:00.003+07:00

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee. One of the guys says, "I'm so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he's made enought that he just gave away a huge portfolio."

The next guy said, "I'm so proud of my son. He's a car dealer and he's doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari."

The third guy says, "I'm so proud of my son. He's got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home."

Just as the third guy fininshes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, "What are you guys talking about?'"Just about how good our sons are doing," the three men replied.

"Well, my son is doing very well," says the fourth man, "He's a male stripper and just last week he got a huge portfolio, a Ferrari and a million-dollar home."

Source: Conectique.com

Huahuahauhaua,... if I were one of the first three guys, I would curl up and die. Thus, my conclusion is be worried if your children are really rich, there could be something underneat all the wealth. heheheheh,...

You Never Let Go

2008-10-13T02:45:00.003+07:00

It's been a while that I haven't been really attached into any religious songs. Until this morning.

Almost in the end of the service, we sang this beautiful song, titled "You Never Let Go" by Matt Redman.

It moved my heart so well that I was again reminded by the fact that God is always with me,... and He always will. In fact, in these last 23 years and some months of my life, He has NEVER let me go.

Enjoy this beautiful lyric and the video

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back, I know you are near

I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*

CHORUS:
OH no You never let go through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go and every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see the light that is comin' for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be *AN* end to the struggles
Til that day comes, we'll live to know You here on *THE* Earth

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear
*WHOM THEN SHALL I FEAR*

*You keep on loving and you never let go*

And i can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
and there will be and end to the struggles
but until that day comes
*STILL I WILL PRAISE YOU

Misery's best friend

2008-10-01T19:06:00.002+07:00

Sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to always be there, because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. But then one day you feel something else, something that feels wrong, only because it's so unfamiliar. And in that moment you realize you're happy.

This quote is coming from One Tree Hill Season 4. Lucas Scott was saying it.

In these past 6 years, pain has become such a huge part of my life that I expect it to always be there. When I feel something unfamiliar, I know that it couldn’t be happiness; because it has never occurred to me lately that I forget how it actually feels like.

In the beginning of my journey to the Netherlands, for the second time, I didn’t know whether I would be happy or sad because of my decision to return to the Netherlands. I am now not yet feeling any definite feeling. I am still perplexed whether I am happy or sad.

These couple of days, I feel a very unsettling, unfamiliar feeling that I might not be sure if it is what happiness would feel like.

I could say that my life is in an OK phase; nothing is wrong. Stefy is here. I am reunited with 75% of my DieKa friends. I have settled some of my issues with some people that I should have settled a long time ago. I have a very nice room, with a nice Vietnamese roommate, and close to the University (like really close – 3 minutes walk close). I have met (and will be meeting) some close friends that I have been wanting to meet. And many more good things.

Knowing that everything is okay, I kinda expect that something wrong would occur to me anytime soon. Like my classmates would hate me. Or I would have no friends in the Hague. Or my parents would call in the middle of the day, somewhere in the end of this year and tell me that they ain’t have any money to pay my expenses anymore, thus I have to go home. Or my fiancée would tell me that he is seeing somebody else in Breda. Or one of my close friends would back stab me. Or someone would steal something from me. Or I would lose something precious. Or I would fail exams or assignments, Or anything bad,…

I don’t know.

When misery has become your close friends, especially for 6 years long, like what I have experienced; you would become miserable as I have become.

I know for sure that God is with me. When He is with me, I shall fear nothing. I know,.. I know this verse by heart. Yet, when I see the world, see the reality, a question pops “will it really be okay?”

I guess I should stop using my brain and just be silly by fully dependant on God and ask nothing; and fear nothing, but God.

Do you dare?

2008-09-27T05:28:00.002+07:00

Some people are just into challenge

I have seen some people in my life, who will sacrifice something to get to feel some challenges. They get bored with their old, static life; thus they, then, they decide to totally change her path and walk towards something uncertain and, of course, challenging.

Knowing that, I started asking myself: is it all worth doing? Or is it just the little voice telling you to pursue something, so-called, worth fighting for?

For me, I have enough challenges in my life. I change ‘life’ almost every year. In these past 6 years, I have moved, more than 10 times (including 6 times moving from one city to another, and one country to another). In these past 8 years, I have been through an ups and downs relationship with Stefy.

I think I have had enough.

But, more positive challenges wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Notepad 19 September 2008

2008-09-23T22:11:00.000+07:00

Capturing people coming and going in the airport has given a different understanding about love and life. As some people were walking towards the gate, I saw some gloomy faces. I am not sure whether they are sad because they have left the past; or are they pressured becuase they are about to face the new future? There are too some happy faces.

Othe people were walking towards arrival gate. Some of them have happy faces. The same question has aroused: are they happy because they are coming to see the new future? or are they cheering because they have left the past? There are too some sad faces.

As for me, I am still not sure what kind of face expression I should give. A couple of days ago I was crying till I ran out of tears; yet this morning, even a few moments before I departed, I didn't cry a tear. I don't want to suspect that I has bottled up my sad feelings, because I am not used to that anymore. But, I am perplexed now: am I sad or am I happy?

How about if I say half-half? I do feel a little bit sad because I left my family behind, especially because I have left them with a new problem I created. Sigh,.... I would certainly miss them.

I am also happy, because, as you know, my boyfriend is waiting for me. Bunch of friends are desperate to see me, at least it is what they wrote in their e-mails. I am too excited to study again. Yeah.... how cool is that to become a student again. Just like Gossip Girls or One Tree Hill.

Oops,.. okay,.. stop,.. I think I have watched too many TV series lately.

But, the bottomline is, I am happy; yet I am sad.

So, as I am about to approach my gate in about 30 minutes, I will figure out which face expression I would give.

Quotes of the day

2008-09-01T10:56:00.002+07:00

"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride. I love you because I know no other way then this. So close that your hand, on my chest, is my hand. So close, that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep."

Memorable quotes - Patch Adams

p.s. I think I will use it for my wedding vow :P

You are my first, my last and my everything

2008-08-30T10:24:00.004+07:00

I was watching TV last night. When I was about to raise to get a drink during commercial break, I heard a very hard, jazzy voice from the TV. It was Bebelac 3 commercial. The background song was veryyyy nice.

I caught some words from the song and I googled.
Voila,.. I found the song!

So, I present this song to you, and to my baldy fiancee :P

---

You're My First, My Last, My Everying
by Barry White

The first, the last, my everything
And the answer to all my dreams
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are
I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two
You're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore
You're the first, your the last, my everything

And with you I've found so many things
A love so new only you could bring
Can't you see it's you
You make me feel this way
You're like a fresh morning dew on a brand new day
I see so many ways that I
Can love you till the day I die
You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a-a-a a dream
You're the first, the last, my everything

I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two
Girl you're my reality
But I'm lost in a-a-a a dream
You're the first, you're the last, my everything

The Test - FUNNY

2008-08-27T15:03:00.002+07:00

ONE NIGHT 4 MBA STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE NIGHT AND DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.

IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT. THEY THEN WENT UP TO THE DEAN AND SAID THAT THEY HAD GONE OUT TO A WEDDING LAST NIGHT AND ON THEIR RETURN THE TYRE OF THEIR CAR BURST AND THEY HAD TO PUSH THE CAR ALL THE WAY BACK AND THAT THEY WERE IN NO CONDITION TO APPEAR FOR THE TEST.

THE DEAN WAS A JUST PERSON SO HE SAID THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE RETEST AFTER 3 DAYS. THEY SAID THEY WILL BE READY BY THAT TIME.

ON THE THIRD DAY THEY APPEARED BEFORE THE DEAN.THE DEAN SAID THAT THIS WAS A SPECIAL CONDITION TEST.ALL FOUR WERE REQUIRED TO SIT IN SEPARATE CLASSROOMS FOR THE TEST.

THEY ALL AGREED AS THEY HAD PREPARED WELL IN THE LAST THREE DAYS. THE TEST CONSISTED OF 2 QUESTIONS WITH TOTAL OF 100 MARKS.

Q .1. WRITE DOWN YOUR NAMES ----- (2 MARKS)

Q.2. WHICH TYRE BURST ------- (98 MARKS).

source: English Yahoogroups

The Rain Kid

2008-08-26T16:37:00.002+07:00

While I was writing an article for the company's newsletter, I came across this article about forgiveness. Since it is almost Ramadhan, I hope it is not wrong to share this article:

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my son Matthew spoke up from his relaxed position in the front seat.

"Mom, I'm thinking of something."

This announcement usually meant he had been pondering some fact for a while and was now ready to expound all that his seven-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.

"The rain," he began, "is like sin and the windshield wipers are like God, wiping our sins away."

After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond. "That's really good, Matthew."

Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little boy take this revelation? So I asked... "Do you notice how the rain keeps on coming? What does that tell you?"

Matthew didn't hesitate one moment with his answer: "We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."

I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on. Isn't it comforting to know that God does keep forgiving us. That all we have to do is ask Him to come into our lives and He will keep washing our sins away.

Source: http://www.mychurch.org/blog/45639/The-Rain-Thomas-Kinkaid

4 People You Will Meet in Life

2008-08-21T17:27:00.002+07:00

Four people you will meet in life. Life is the process of finding love; every person will need to find four people in their life.

First person is you, second person is the one you love most, third person is the one who love you most, and the fourth is the one you spend the rest of your life with.

In life, firstly you will meet with the one you love most, and learn how love feels. Because you know how love feels, so you can find the person who loves you most. When you have experienced the feeling of loving others and being loved, you will then know what it is you need most. Then you will find the person who is most suitable for you, to be able to spend the rest of your life with.

Sadly, in real life, these three people are usually not the same person.

The one you love most doesn’t love you. The one, who love you most, is never the one you love most. And the one you spend your life with, is never theone you love most or the one who love you most.

He is just the person who happens to be at the right place at the right time.

Which person are you in other people’s life?

No person will purposely have a change of heart. At the point in time when he loves you, he really loves you. But when he doesn’t love you anymore, he really doesn’t love you anymore. When he loves you, he can’t pretend that he doesn’t. Same goes, when he loves you no more, there’s no way he can pretend he loves you.

When a person doesn’t love you and wants to leave you. You must ask yourself if you still love him, if you also don’t love him anymore, do not keep him just to save your pride. If you still love him, you should wish him happiness, and hope that he will be with the one he loves most, not stop him from it. If you stop him from finding true happiness with the one he loves, it shows you already don’t love him, and if you don’t love him, what rights do you have to blame him for a change of heart?

Love is not possessive, if you like the moon, you can’t just take it down and put it in your basin, but the moonlight still shines upon you. In other words, when you love a person, you can use another method of possessing the person. Let him become a permanent memory in you life. If you really love a person, you must love him for what he is. Love him for his good points, and the bad, you can’t wish for him to become like what you like him to be just because you love him. If he can’t change to become what you like him to be, you don’t love him anymore.

When you really love a person, you cannot find a reason why you love him, you only know that no matter when and where, good mood or bad mood, you will wish to have this person be with you. Real love is when two people can go through the toughest problems without asking for promises or listing criteria. In a relationship, you have to put in effort and give in at times, not always be on the receiving end. Being away from each other is a type of test, If the relationship isn’t strong, then you can only admit defeat. Real love will never become hate.

When two people are in love, they love to ask each other to swear, to make promises. Why do they ask each other to swear and promise? Because they don’t trust each other, they don’t trust their lover. These swear and promises are useless; Till the sky falls, till the ocean dry, my love for you will never change! We all know that the sky will never fall; the ocean will never dry, even if it does happen, are we still alive by then?

Be careful when making promises; don’t make promises that you cannot keep. Swear by things that can never happen, because it can never happen, so no harm just saying it casually. Remember, swearing by things that can never happen are the most touching!! In a relationship, what you say is one thing, but what you do is another; The one saying, doesn’t believe; the one listening, also doesn’t believe.

Source: http://www.rumahrenungan.com/

Merdeka! - in pictures

2008-08-20T13:29:00.003+07:00

Si Pencuri Mimpi

2008-07-29T14:57:00.004+07:00

Receiving it from a colleague, I quite like this article, but not 100% agree with it :)
Enjoy,..

---

The Acesia

Ada seorang gadis muda yang sangat suka menari. Kepandaiannya menari sangat menonjol dibanding dengan rekan-2nya, sehingga dia seringkali menjadi juara di berbagai perlombaan yang diadakan. Dia berpikir, dengan apa yang dimilikinya saat ini, suatu saat apabila dewasa nanti dia ingin menjadi penari kelas dunia. Dia membayangkan dirinya menari di Rusia, Cina, Amerika, Jepang, serta ditonton oleh ribuan orang yang memberi tepuk tangan kepadanya.

Suatu hari, dikotanya dikunjungi oleh seorang pakar tari yang berasal dari luar negeri. Pakar ini sangatlah hebat, dan dari tangan dinginnya telah banyak dilahirkan penari-penari kelas dunia. Gadis muda ini ingin sekali menari dan menunjukkan kebolehannya di depan sang pakar tersebut, bahkan jika mungkin memperoleh kesempatan menjadi muridnya.

Akhirnya kesempatan itu datang juga. Si gadis muda berhasil menjumpai sang pakar di belakang panggung, seusai sebuah pagelaran tari. Si gadis muda bertanya "Pak, saya ingin sekali menjadi penari kelas dunia. Apakah anda punya waktu sejenak, untuk menilai saya menari ? Saya ingin tahu pendapat anda tentang tarian saya". "Oke, menarilah di depan saya selama 10 menit", jawab sang pakar.

Belum lagi 10 menit berlalu, sang pakar berdiri dari kursinya, lalu berlalu meninggalkan si gadis muda begitu saja, tanpa mengucapkan sepatah kata pun. Betapa hancur si gadis muda melihat sikap sang pakar. Si gadis langsung berlari keluar. Pulang kerumah, dia langsung menangis tersedu-sedu. Dia menjadi benci terhadap dirinya sendiri. Ternyata tarian yang selama ini dia bangga-banggakan tidak ada apa-apanya di hadapan sang pakar. Kemudian dia ambil sepatu tarinya, dan dia lemparkan ke dalam gudang. Sejak saat itu, dia bersumpah tidak pernah akan lagi menari.

Puluhan tahun berlalu. Sang gadis muda kini telah menjadi ibu dengan tiga orang anak. Suaminya telah meninggal. Dan untuk menghidupi keluarganya, dia bekerja menjadi pelayan dari sebuah toko di sudut jalan.

Suatu hari, ada sebuah pagelaran tari yang diadakan di kota itu. Nampak sang pakar berada di antara para menari muda di belakang panggung. Sang pakar nampak tua, dengan rambutnya yang sudah putih. Si ibu muda dengan tiga anaknya juga datang ke pagelaran tari tersebut. Seusai acara, ibu ini membawa ketiga anaknya ke belakang panggung, mencari sang pakar, dan memperkenalkan ketiga anaknya kepada sang pakar. Sang pakar masih mengenali ibu muda ini, dan kemudian mereka bercerita secara akrab.

Si ibu bertanya, "Pak, ada satu pertanyaan yang mengganjal di hati saya. Ini tentang penampilan saya sewaktu menari di hadapan anda bertahun-tahun yang silam. Sebegitu jelekkah penampilan saya saat itu, sehingga anda langsung pergi meninggalkan saya begitu saja, tanpa mengatakan sepatah katapun?".

"Oh ya, saya ingat peristiwanya. Terus terang, saya belum pernah melihat tarian seindah yang kamu lakukan waktu itu. Saya rasa kamu akan menjadi penari kelas dunia. Saya tidak mengerti mengapa kamu tiba-2 berhenti dari dunia tari", jawab sang pakar. Si ibu muda sangat terkejut mendengar jawaban sang pakar. "Ini tidak adil", seru si ibu muda. "Sikap anda telah mencuri semua impian saya. Kalau memang tarian saya bagus, mengapa anda meninggalkan saya begitu saja ketika saya baru menari beberapa menit.

Anda seharusnya memuji saya, dan bukan mengacuhkan saya begitu saja. Mestinya saya bisa menjadi penari kelas dunia. Bukan hanya menjadi pelayan toko !".

Si pakar menjawab lagi dengan tenang "Tidak? Tidak, saya rasa saya telah berbuat dengan benar. ANDA TIDAK HARUS MINUM ANGGUR SATU BAREL UNTUK MEMBUKTIKAN ANGGUR ITU ENAK. Demikian juga saya. Saya tidak harus menonton anda 10 menit untuk membuktikan tarian anda bagus. Malam itu saya juga sangat lelah setelah pertunjukkan. Maka sejenak saya tinggalkan anda, untuk mengambil kartu nama saya, dan berharap anda mau menghubungi saya lagi keesokan hari. Tapi anda sudah pergi ketika saya keluar. Dan satu hal yang perlu anda camkan, bahwa ANDA MESTINYA FOKUS PADA IMPIAN ANDA, BUKAN PADA UCAPAN ATAU TINDAKAN SAYA.

Lalu pujian ? Kamu mengharapkan pujian ? Ah, waktu itu kamu sedang bertumbuh. PUJIAN ITU SEPERTI PEDANG BERMATA DUA. ADA KALANYA MEMOTIVASIMU, BISA PULA MELEMAHKANMU. Dan faktanya saya melihat bahwa sebagian besar PUJIAN YANG DIBERIKAN PADA SAAT SESEORANG SEDANG BERTUMBUH, HANYA AKAN MEMBUAT DIRINYA PUAS DAN PERTUMBUHANNYA BERHENTI. SAYA JUSTRU LEBIH SUKA MENGACUHKANMU, AGAR HAL ITU BISA MELECUTMU BERTUMBUH LEBIH CEPAT LAGI.

Lagipula, pujian itu sepantasnya datang dari keinginan saya sendiri. TIDAK PANTAS ANDA MEMINTA PUJIAN DARI ORANG LAIN".

"Anda lihat, ini sebenarnya hanyalah masalah sepele. Seandainya anda pada waktu itu tidak menghiraukan apa yang terjadi dan tetap menari, mungkin hari ini anda sudah menjadi penari kelas dunia. MUNGKIN ANDA SAKIT HATI PADA WAKTU ITU, TAPI SAKIT HATI ANDA AKAN CEPAT HILANG BEGITU ANDA BERLATIH KEMBALI. TAPI SAKIT HATI KARENA PENYESALAN ANDA HARI INI TIDAK AKAN PERNAH BISA HILANG SELAMA-LAMANYA ??..".

Coffee Craving - part 2

2008-07-25T16:40:00.002+07:00

Could you imagine that this same Barney, who sang "I love you, you love me, we are happy family", were so grumpy before his morning coffee :D

I could

p.s. I sneakily sipped coffee latte yesterday :P Can't take it anymore!!! *sigh*

I Stop Me!

2008-07-25T16:29:00.001+07:00

Bagaimana bila ada seseorang yang sedemikian ngotot menghalangi Anda mencapai kesuksesan? Bagaimana bila orang itu juga yang selalu merintangi Anda di setiap usaha Anda? Bagaimana perasaan Anda terhadap orang itu? Bagaimana kalau orang itu selalu muncul sambil membawa segudang alasan untuk menghalangi Anda betindak?

Bagaimana kalau ternyata orang itu adalah Anda sendiri? Boleh jadi... Ada kemungkinan, diri Anda sendiri adalah musuh terbesar Anda dalam meraih kesuksesan dan kemajuan.

Pernahkah Anda memergoki diri Anda sendiri berkata, "Aku tidak mungkin melakukannya..."? Tidakkah suara kecil itu juga yang selalu merintangi tujuan Anda dan membawa banyak sekali alasan bahwa setiap ide yang Anda pikirkan itu mustahil?

Keterbatasan yang Anda miliki memang cenderung membuat Anda berpikir untuk membatasi diri. Tapi keputusan tetap di tangan Anda. Suara kecil itu bisa berbicara apa saja, tapi Anda bisa menentukan pilihan.

Relakah Anda dipenjara oleh keterbatasan? Tentu saja tidak! Bayangkan apa yang bisa Anda capai bila Anda 100% mendukung diri Anda sendiri...

Nah, silahkan berkhayal dan mulailah kehidupan!

Source: Jawaban.com

Recipe for Happy Life

2008-07-21T16:54:00.000+07:00

Talk-------- -------Softly
Walk-------- --------Humbly
Eat--------- --------- -Sensibly
Breathe----- --------- ----Deeply
Sleep------- --------- -----Sufficiently
Dress------- --------- --------- -Smartly
Act--------- --------- --------- ---Fearlessly
Work-------- --------- --------- ------Patiently
Think------- --------- --------- --------- Truthfully
Believe----- --------- --------- --------- ---Correctly
Behave------ --------- --------- --------- -----Decently
Learn------- --------- --------- --------- --------Practically
Plan-------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -----Orderly
Earn-------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------Honestly
Save-------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -Regularly
Spend------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---Intelligently
Love-------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ------Passionately
ENJOY------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------COMPLETELY

source: English Yahoogroups

Coffee Craving - part 1

2008-07-21T16:39:00.003+07:00

Funny,...
As long as I am not allowed to drink one, I will entertain myself with kinda silly, yet amusing cartoon about coffee.

poor me :( :(

pssstt,... I sneakily drank a sip of coffee this afro. Okay,.... I lied,.. I took a cup of coffee. Coz,.. I couldn't work!!! My braind was stuck. It is because I haven't taken any coffee for almost two weeeekss!!

Poor meee :( :(

Life is...

2008-07-21T16:37:00.000+07:00

Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is bliss, taste it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.

Mother Teresa

source: English Yahoogroups

Too Much Love

2008-07-05T10:52:00.002+07:00

Too much love will kill you
Just as sure as none at all
It'll drain the power that's in you
Make you plead and scream and crawl
And the pain will make you crazy
You're the victim of your crime
Too much love will kill you
Every time

Too much love will kill you
It'll make your life a lie
Yes, too much love will kill you
And you won't understand why
You'd give your life, you'd sell your soul
But here it comes again
Too much love will kill you
In the end...

(Too Much Love Will Kill You - Queen)

Lord, is it true?
that too much love will kill me?
Is it true?

If it is, I guess I know why I am feeling miserable rite now.
Because I have so much love, yet I don't feel I am loved the same way.
and it is killing me.

I shan't have too much, then

Sikap Yang Bisa Merusak Hubungan

2008-06-25T16:13:00.002+07:00

This article below has blessed me and my relationship. I and Stefy have been through some difficult times regarding fighting and conflict resolution.

I would sometimes withdraw and would not talk at all, because of my anger; and Stefy would get very upset because I could never express what I felt or thought. It was all so confusing!

I didn't realize until I read this article.
I didn't know that that what makes we are men and women

Fewh,.. and now, again, we are trying to fight better and resolve our problems wiser.

Thank's God

---

Saat Anda menjalin hubungan dengan seseorang, mungkin Anda pernah mengalami beberapa masalah. Terkadang masalah tersebut mengakibatkan perselisihan antara Anda dengan pasangan. Untuk menyelesaikan masalah dengan pasangan, sebaiknya Anda simak sikap yang harus Anda hindari agar tidak menyakiti hati pasangan Anda.

Berkelahi

Sikap ini berasal dari Mars. Jika percakapan menjadi tidak menyenangkan dan tidak mendukung, maka sebagian orang lalu mulai berkelahi. Mereka menyerang dengan menyalahkan, menilai atau mengadili, mengkritik dan membuat pasangannya terlihat bersalah. Saat pasangan mereka mengalah maka mereka merasa menang. Padahal sebenarnya mereka kalah. Intimidasi melemahkan rasa percaya di dalam hubungan.

Lari

Sikap ini juga berasal dari Mars. Untuk menghindari konfrontasi, kaum martian lalu menarik diri ke goa mereka dan tidak pernah keluar lagi. Mereka menolak bicara sehingga tidak bisa menyelesaikan masalah. Daripada berdebat, sebagian pasangan memilih berhenti membicarakan masalah tersebut. Untuk jangka pendek, pasangan ini memang merasa mendapatkan kedamaian dan harmoni. Tapi jika perasaan Anda tidak didengarkan maka akan muncul rasa benci. Untuk jangka panjang, pasangan ini akan kehilangan sentuhan asmara dan perasaan saling cinta yang membuat mereka tertarik kepada satu sama lain.

Pura-pura

Sikap ini berasal dari Venus. Untuk menghindari perasaan terluka atau sakit hati maka orang ini tidak ada masalah. Mereka tersenyum dan terlihat bahagia. Tapi lama-kelamaan mereka akan berubah menjadi benci dan menghambat ungkapan cinta alamiah mereka. Untuk menghindari gejolak maka orang yang berpura-pura ini bahkan membohongi diri mereka sendiri bahwa segala sesuatu baik-baik saja.

Menyerah

Sikap ini juga berasal dari Venus. Daripada bertengkar atau berdebat maka orang ini akan memilih menyerah. Mereka menerima disalahkan atau bertanggung jawab atas sesuatu yang membuat marah pasangannya meskipun itu bukan kesalahannya. Untuk jangka pendek, mereka bisa menciptakan kesan seperti pasangan yang saling mencinta dan mendukung. Tapi pada akhirnya, keduanya akan kehilangan diri sendiri.

Anda mungkin mengenali adanya salah satu gejala di atas dalam hubungan Anda. Masing-masing sikap ini bertujuan melindungi diri Anda sendiri tidak terluka atau sakit hati. Sayangnya cara seperti ini tidak ada gunanya. Lebih baik mengakui adanya masalah, bicarakan lalu hentikan. Ambil waktu untuk menenangkan diri lalu kembali lagi dan bicarakan lagi. Coba komunikasi dengan saling menghargai satu sama lain. Dari cara ini, Anda akan bisa menemukan cara bertengkar tanpa menyakiti hati atau menjatuhkan harga diri.

Source: Jawaban.com

Don't mess with (older) women!

2008-06-24T09:55:00.004+07:00

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please. (The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.)
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration pa pers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
(The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.)
(The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.)
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Well for heavens sake, how ridiculous!! ! I Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

The Moral Of The Story?
Don't Mess With Old Ladies!!

Mom Vs Dad

2008-06-23T14:03:00.001+07:00

A little girl asked her mother,
'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered,
'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made.'

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered,
'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'

The confused girl returned to her mother and said,
'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'

The mother answered,
'Well, dear, it is very simple.
I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

the Transformer

2008-06-18T10:40:00.004+07:00

Today's word with Joel & Victoria:

You life will move in the direction of your most dominant thoughts. You can choose to think according the world’s system or according to God’s system. The world’s system says to “look out for number one,” to do whatever you can to get ahead and make yourself happy. But in God’s system, you find happiness and blessing by serving and putting others first. God doesn’t want us to have an attitude that is self-centered, or jealous, or greedy. He knows that those thoughts end in destruction. God wants us to live a blessed and prosperous life. That’s why the scripture tells us to renew our minds, or transform our thinking. We have to make sure our thoughts are the same as God’s thoughts. Just like a computer, whatever you allow into your mind is what will come out in your attitude and actions. The more you meditate on God’s Word, the more you will transform your thinking to be like God’s thinking. Choose today to focus on the Word of God and allow your mind to be renewed. As you focus on God’s thoughts, you will see your actions become more like Him, and you will see His hand of blessing in every area of your life.

My ICE CREAM,..

2008-06-05T17:05:00.001+07:00

Your Ice Cream Personality:

You like to think of yourself as a fairly modest person. And it's true that you don't talk yourself up... but you're also pretty happy with who you are.

You have a wild reputation, but you're not as wild as you seem. You take risks, but only measured risks.

You are a somewhat open minded person, but deep down you're fairly conservative. You don't like trying new things very much. And if you do find something new you like, you stick with it.

You are a natural multitasker. You feel alive when you're doing more than one thing at a time.

You are a serious and contemplative person. You definitely do your own thing in life.

The Ice Cream Personality Test

I ask and God answers

2008-05-28T15:48:00.000+07:00

He Prepares Your Path

Today's Scripture

“I will go before you and make the crooked places straight…” (Isaiah 45:2 NKJV)

Today's Word from Joel and Victoria

Do you ever feel like every time you try to move forward in something, you hit a roadblock? Something happens that throws you off course. Be encouraged today because right now in your life, God is going before you. He’s preparing a way. He’s making your crooked places straight. He’s making your rough places smooth. You may be going through a difficult time right now, but it’s not the end. It’s only the beginning. God has equipped you for this journey. You may feel like you’re in a dry season, but don’t look at your circumstances. Look at the promise of God today! If you’ll keep speaking words of faith, God promises that He’ll anoint your head with oil and your cup will run over. That means you’ll be refreshed and anointed to do what He’s called you to do. God is preparing your path and equipping you for the journey. What do you need today to keep moving forward? Start by checking your attitude. Don’t go around complaining and focused on the negative side of things. Put on an attitude of praise and thanksgiving. Thank Him for making your crooked places straight! As you do, you’ll move forward in joy and gladness in the blessed future He has prepared for you!

A Prayer for Today

Lord in heaven, thank You for Your goodness in my life. Thank You for preparing the path for my life and making my crooked places straight. Thank You for restoring my soul and life and for guiding me in everything I do. I submit every area of my life to You today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

Indonesian Movie: Aku Perempuan

2008-05-23T12:57:00.005+07:00

Indonesian movie is risen!
You might not find this at IMDB.com yet this short movie, titled 'Aku Perempuan' (I am woman) has won an award recently. Thus, it is really worth watching.

I reckon this movie has also awaken us to pray more for so many things in the world, including the mudflow issue in Porong, Surabaya.

Have you watched this video? Let's then pray for Porong for a while.

p.s. One of the film makers is my friend :) Good for you, dude!

Attitude you want from your hubby

2008-05-23T10:14:00.002+07:00

This is the attitude you may want from your husband :P at least this is what I want. But, it would be much better if he gets home on time and NOT gets drunk.

Any candidates suitable for this postion? Please send your application ASAP
:P *giggling*

Enjoy this following story!

A man wakes up home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.

He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him,all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees it is in perfect order. So's the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table :
Honey,
Breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping.
Love you.

He goes to the kitchen.
Sure enough, a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper await him.

His son is also at the table, eating.
The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"

His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you walked into the door."

Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in order and also clean, with breakfast on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that ! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off you shouted,

" LADY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME ! I'M MARRIED !'"

the story is taken from Yahoogroups English

For a while

2008-05-19T13:36:00.002+07:00

Sorry for the inconvenient

If you try to access my blog via http://www.nlimz.com, it will not give you the page you are requested. Thus, for a while, you can access this blog via http://nlimz.blogspot.com

For Native Indonesian or you who speak Bahasa Indonesia, you can visit my Indonesian blog: http://omabercerita.blogspot.com

Thank you

You have USD 86,400 in your acount

2008-05-17T12:45:00.003+07:00

Imagine there is a bank that credits your account each morning with USD 86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day; allows you to keep no cash balance; every night deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do with such an account Draw out every penny, of course!!!

Every one of us has such a 'bank'. Its name is TIME. Every morning it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off as lost whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose. It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.

Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the records of the day. If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no going back. There is no drawing against tomorrow. You must live in the present -on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today!!!

taken from Yahoogroups English

My motto is actually this "time is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God"

Trust Needed

2008-05-05T16:33:00.002+07:00

Trust

If you hear this word, what do you associate it with? Or what do you directly think, if you hear or read the word ‘trust’?

Trusting ain’t easy. I agree. I have to learn for some years to FULLY trust my boyfriend, no matter where we are and how we are (bad mood, in the fighting mood, or in a good mood).

Trusting someone visible is difficult. So, I believe, trusting someone (or something) invisible would be even more difficult. How about trusting God?

I always fail to FULLY trust him. There has always been so many excuses NOT to trust Him; from “what if,..” question to “He doesn’t answer my prayer” statement.

Yesterday, during Sunday service, Daniel Alexander, the speaker, uttered something meaningful. “If you learn to trust God, God will entrust you with something big, too.”

I have never known that our relationship with God is mutual.

He, then, uttered a question “do you think that God ever lies to you?” The next question is “do you think it is possible that God would lie to you?” And the answer to both the questions is a big NO.

So, why is it so hard to trust Him? It was Daniel’s last question.

I felt very embarrassed in front of Daniel Alexander, also in front of God. Recently, I have failed to trust God; I refused to trust Him because it was a too-good-to-be-true request I asked from Him. In the end, He truly fulfilled His promise. It came true!

Oops, sorry, God! :(

This morning, a very nice article has advised me, titled "A bigger frying pan", about dreaming big and trusting our BIG GOD. Enjoy,…

--

A Bigger Frying Pan

Two men went fishing. One man was an experienced fisherman, the other wasn't.

Every time the experienced fisherman caught a big fish, he put it in his ice chest to keep it fresh. Whenever the inexperienced fisherman caught a big fish, he threw it back.

The experienced fisherman watched this go on all day and finally got tired of seeing this man waste good fish. "Why do you keep throwing back all the big fish you catch?" he asked.

The inexperienced fisherman replied, "I only have a small frying pan."

Sometimes, like that fisherman, we throw back the big plans, big dreams, big jobs, and big opportunities that God gives us. Our faith is too small.

We laugh at that fisherman who didn't figure out that all he needed was a bigger frying pan; yet how ready are we to increase the size of our faith?

Whether it's a problem or a possibility, God will never give you anything bigger than you can handle. That means we can confidently walk into anything God brings our way. (source: Yahoogroups - English)

The Fern Vs The Bamboo

2008-04-28T11:17:00.002+07:00

I dedicate this posting to a friend, who is momentarily feeling bored and tired with his life. I hope it can be a great encouragement to you.

---

One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. ...

I wanted to quit my life.

I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.

"God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"

His answer surprised me...

"Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.

I gave them light. I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor.

Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.

In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.

And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed.

But I did not quit on the bamboo".

He said. "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.

In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed.

I would not quit."

He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth.

Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant.

But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 Feet tall.

It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.

I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."

He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I Would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others."

He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the Fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful."

"Your time will come, "God said to me." You will rise high!"

"How high should I rise?" I asked.

"How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.

"As high as it can?" I questioned.

"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."

I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you........

source: Free English Course - Yahoo Group!
---

so do I hope that you will never give up, friend

Are you David?

2008-04-25T11:29:00.003+07:00

Seeing Adversity The Right Way

Anytime God is about to take you to a new level you’re going to face opposition. There will be new battles to fight and new obstacles to overcome. It’s easy to get discouraged and think, “Why is this happening?”

But we have to change our thinking and focus on the fact that on the other side of those challenges is a new level of victory—a new level of success. David would only be known as a shepherd boy if it weren’t for Goliath. David’s enemy became the tool that God used to promote him. And God will do the same in your life today. He’ll use those challenges and difficulties in your life to catapult you towards success!

If you are going through a hard time today, if things look impossible, don’t give up now. Change your perspective and believe that God is working behind the scenes. Put a smile on your face and stand in confidence knowing that you are a child of the Most High God. When all is said and done, you’re not just going to come out of that difficulty, but you’re coming out stronger, wiser, and better than you were before! That problem is going to be the catalyst for God to open supernatural doors of opportunity for you! Stand strong in the Lord today and trust that what the enemy meant for your harm, God will turn around and use to your advantage.

He’ll take you places you never dreamed and cause you to rise higher and higher in every area of your life!

Are you the new 'David'? Do you dare to be him? Trust the Lord, for He is good.

source: Joel Osteen's Live like champion

2008-04-21T09:54:00.002+07:00

“The earth was formless and void…and God said, Let there be light.”

Are you believing God for something today that seems impossible?

We serve a great and mighty God and He can create something out of nothing. He can make a way when there seems to be no way! Genesis tells us that in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. But before He spoke the world into existence, it was formless and void.

If God can make the world out of nothing, He can take the empty places in your life and create something beautiful, too! He can speak light into your darkest hour. He can take your formless dreams and give them shape. He can resurrect your dormant gifts and talents! He can make your crooked places straight! Remember, you are created in the image of almighty God.

There’s power in your words, and there’s power when you’re in agreement with Him. Start saying what God says about your situation. Speak life to your broken dreams, today. Stay in an attitude of faith and expectancy. As you do, God will take you places that you’ve never dreamed, and you’ll live in victory all the days of your life!

---

I hope that this devotional reading, taken from Joel Osteen's daily e-mail above can give you some encouragement to go through this day. Happy working day and God bless your coming week.

(Don't) Stop Watching Fitna

2008-04-16T17:01:00.002+07:00

Many people are still against Government's decision to band YouTube and other sites. They talk it over the phone, on the website, forum and send their thoughts to local or national newspaper. I reckon, most Indonesians don't like it.

Mr Wimar Witoelar mentioned in perspektif.net that Indonesian people accesses YouTube everyday NOT for watching Fitna; yet for other reasons, such as pleasure, just for laugh, witness their friend's engangement ceremony :P

Thus, banning YouTube is the wrong thing, especially if what the government wants is to make people stop thinking, talking, and seeing it.

It's like during Soeharto's era when the government was always so suspicious, Wimar told the Jakarta Post last Thursday.

Yes, I truly agree. When M Nuh was seated on the throne of Menkominfo (Head of Communication and Information Department), he promised the freedom of ICT. He was, himself, attending Blogger event and announced a Blogger day. All of these actions had been the proof that Indonesia was growing toward freedom of speaking, writing, and expressing oneself. Wow,..! I used to admire M NUh.

Yet, now, he is no longer my favorite politician. First, his action launching UU ITE and then banning YouTube & Friends, had made me very upset. Yes, disappointed! What does he want? Has someone behind me tried to steer him?

I don't know.

A political expert, Ikrar Nusa Bhakti, from the National Institute of Sciences, had made a good point, saying that the block could be interpreted as evidence of the government's support for minor extremist groups.

He said the ban on the film and its maker Dutch politician Geert Wilders spoke volumes about the government's immaturity despite the democratic era.
"The government's intervention will impede its citizens from becoming mature. The public will never be able to tell good from bad because the government always dictates to them," Ikrar said.

He said the ban would not work, but rather would ignite public curiosity about the film and encourage people to find alternative ways to watch it.

"If the government is seriously concerned that movies could destroy this country, it should ban TV soap operas, which often teach young people negative behavior," Ikrar said.

Yes, I truly agree with him.

Where is the government when there are so many useless Soap Opera showing glamour life style, hatred, evil doing, silly behavior?

Where is the government when there are numerous murder, stealing, and lying scenes being showed during Prime Time, when children and teenagers are having their dinner?

Where is the government when TV stations show stupid quizzes with so-many-millions prize for the winner that make Indonesian poor, uneducated people being dumb and dumber?

All I could say, It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt?

So, my suggestion is, do watch Fitna and see that what this guy, Geert Wilders, wants is only popularity and attention. And, stop watching those stupid soap operas: Cinta Bunga, Chelsea, Cahaya, and so on. Watch Metro TV! 

Some quotes are taken from Perspektif.net

Anyway,..

2008-04-16T09:50:00.002+07:00

I have been pretty discouraged lately due to a lot of things happening surround me: illeness, failure, being put on hold, disappointment, catching my dream, and many things. Honestly, I can't do it on my own. I have to be couraged, supported again and again. I need to hear, again and again, that I can or that I am able to reach my dream!

Watching American Idol last week was a real blessing for me. Kristy Lee Cook, although she wasn't my favorite, sang a very beautiful song that moved my heart and gave me goosebump, titled 'Anyway'. This song is originally sung by Martina McBride.

Glad this song can give me another encouragement and enlightment. Really need to download this song!

Enjoy. Hopefully this song can help you, too.

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might never come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea - sing it anyway

Why YouTube?

2008-04-10T15:27:00.002+07:00

Indonesia's Information Minister Mohammad Nuh has ordered internet providers to ban access to popular sites like YouTube and MySpace.

The ban aims to prevent Indonesians from accessing a Dutch anti-Islam film.

A signed letter from the minister says: "[The] broadcast of the Fitna movie through the internet by the Dutch politician Geert Wilders might cause disturbance in relations between religions and civilisations around the world."

"We ask you to immediately use all effort to block all sites and blogs which post the Fitna movie," it added.

The letter was copied to Indonesia's Police Chief.

source: abc.net.au

---

Stopping people from seeing something or hiding any information, without any clear explanation may cause various things:

1. Curiosity
2. Disappointment/Upset
3. Backstreet action

I reckon it is ridiculous to ban Youtube, Myspace, Multiply, rapidshare, and other useful websites just because they are accused of "spreading" Fitna the movie.

There are thousands useful information in those websites, apart from Fitna film.

What needs to be done is educate Indonesians about what the movie is about and whose it is for (in fact, it is dedicated to Muslim, who are in the Netherlands, not Muslim across the world). Moreover, government needs to teach about what they should do. Educated people, hopefully, will know how to react; yet, how about uneducated, "small", people? They are mostly provoked by the others, who are more dominant or powerful. Thus, I think our President needs to speak in a big forum (live) about how Indonesian anticipates and reacts in regards to Fitna film.

Banning Youtube, burning down Dutch Consulates, and hating Dutch people will not solve any problems. There will be a lot more Geert Wilders, who will provoke us. What we should do so that we won't get provoked is determining our attitude.

As it is said by Stephen Covey, it is not the circumstances around us that determine our attitude; yet it is our attitude that determines what will happen around us (90/10 principle).

So, government, what's your attitude?

Get Engaged/Get Married?

2008-04-09T21:24:00.003+07:00

Guess! :P

- before the ceremony -

- the ceremony (Chinese Tradition) -

- the Blessing by Pak Nathanael -

- the singing for MY FIANCEE ('It Might Be You') -

- WE ROCK!! -

Surprise,.. surprise!!!

You may be a little bit disappointed because you are not up-to-date about this news; yet, so you may know, we LOVE surprises!!

The event was held:
on 29th March 2008
at XO Suki, Surabaya

Thank's God for all your supports, prayers, and encouragement so that we may go through these 7 years of ups-and-downs relationship. Please pray with us and for us so that we may enter the Wedding Gate with His blessing, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE :P

Will (NOT) keep you updated :P because, WE LOVE SURPRISES!!!!!

Just One Paragraph!

2008-04-02T16:12:00.003+07:00

After spending some times living in denial, disappointments and sadness, I finally have to face the truth. Instead of "why me again?" statement, I am really striving to rephrase my question to "what do YOU want me to learn again and again?"

This following text is really encouraging, at least for me. I hope you will, too, be encouraged.

---

Arthur Ashe, the legendary Wimbledon player was dying of AIDS which he got due to infected blood he received during a heart surgery in 1983.

From world over, he received letters from his fans, one of which conveyed: "Why does GOD have to select you for such a bad disease"?

To this Arthur Ashe replied:

" The world over -- 50 million children start playing tennis, 5 million learn to play tennis,
500,000 learn professional tennis, 50,000 come to the circuit, 5000 reach the grand slam,
50 reach Wimbledon , 4 to semi final, 2 to the finals,
when I was holding a cup I never asked GOD 'Why me?'.
And today in pain I should not be asking GOD 'Why me?' "

Happiness keeps you Sweet,
Trials keep you Strong,
Sorrow keeps you Human,
Failure keeps you humble
and Success keeps you glowing,
but only Faith & Attitude Keeps you going...

source: Sangkakala.org

Finding Solitude - my silent long weekend

2008-03-16T15:04:00.006+07:00

As I have shared in my previous posting, I went to seek solitude during my long weekend (last week).

Some friends and I went to Gedono, somewhere in Midden Java, which is near Solo (and also near Salatiga). We departed from Gubeng Station by train to Solo. Arriving in Solo, we were picked up by Maureen in an APV car, which was rented by her (Maureen is one friend from Jakarta, who also joined this trip.)

Upon arriving, we saw tremendous view. Very natural, green and 'virgin'.
Yes, it is because this monastery, located in Gedono, called Pertapaan Bunda Pemersatu, is consciously placed in the middle of nowhere.
Pertapaan Bunda Pemersatu is different to other monasteries. It is therapeutics monastery, where the nuns, as well as the guests, are not allowed to speak a lot. Thus, we are only allowed to speak during meals (and of course, for me and the gank, we were still chatting in our room :P). It is very quiet.
We had 7 - 8 times praise and worship times:

3.15 AM in the morning
5 AM
7 AM
9 AM
11.30 AM
2.30 PM
5 PM
7 PM

Trust me, you won't complain - in spite of the sleeping and waking up time (sleep at 8, wake up at 3 AM). The food is all vegetarian (yipeee!!), which was a total good news for me.
They had cute architecture, which was proposed by Alm. Romo Mangun. Moreover, they also had some cute, delicious snacks and beverages.

Hm,... I really didn't complain. I, in fact, enjoyed it very much. I felt that I could talk to God more directly. It seemed like talking to God face to face. In Surabaya, I hardly have time to pray for a lot of things; yet in Gedono, my prayer just flowed like water.
Thank God, I found this place - thank God I (re-)found You.

My requested wedding song

2008-03-14T21:53:00.001+07:00

Whomever can sing this song can propose to marry me :)
*grinning* ^^

I accidentally found this song, and,..
I was totally amazed by it.
The voice, the tune, the meaning,..
Oh,...
PERFECTO

So, guys, you better practice it from now :D

Well its been 5 years
Can't hold back my tears
Cause I'm just so happy I'm marrying an angel today

As I take your hand
I pledge to be your man
I vow to love to hold to cherish
And never disrespect the love we share

I'll be honest I can not lie
There'll be real good days
There'll be some bad times
I'll be standing right be side you my sweet baby
With the love of mine

And you take this ring
And i place it on your sweet and lovely hand
We will show our kids
They will tell their kids
What mom and daddy did
On the day I married my angel

I love you my angel

Holy Day

2008-03-06T22:07:00.002+07:00

As tomorrow the Hindus will celebrate 'Seclusion Day', some friends and I are going for seclusion for a couple of days, too.

We are heading to Gedono. As a little 'village' (or some will proudly call it a town) in Centre Java, it has everything you need to relax and do 'back to the nature' rituals. Yet, we will not only do some relaxing; yet we will do a little retreat.

We are going to a monastery, named 'Pertapaan Bunda Pemersatu' to have a total contemplation experience. I heard from some people and read on some blogs/websites that this place is the right place when you seek quietness. You are not allowed more than 3 hours per day. Wow,.. intense! The nuns who dedicate themselves in that monastery only talk less than 3 hours in a day. They have various activities, from cooking to cleaning; from praying to worshiping.

I, too, heard that the nuns wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning to go the chapel and pray. The guests are also encouraged to do the same. (For goodness' sake. I can hardly wake up at 6 everyday :( ) Yet, they go to bed at 8 o'clock in the evening (oh my gosh, it is also another problem. You know what time I normally go to bed? not earlier than 11 o'clock. Sigh,...)

I honestly don't know what to expect, because I have never been to this kinda place. However, I am VERY excited!! I can hardly wait!!! Seriously,... I am realllllyy looking forward to go this place.

Thus, please pray for me that I will find God's presence and have new insight.

I really hope that God will speak to me through this trip.

Cheers,
Have a nice long weekend to all Indonesian who live in Indonesia :)

p.s. you can see some pictures of Gedono here

Beware of TEMPTATION!

2008-02-28T08:50:00.003+07:00

Just finished watching One Tree Hill Season 2, titled “The Heart Brings You Back”. Hm, I, now, realize something important.

Temptation does exist. The bad news is it is everywhere.

What you have to do is RUNAWAY.

Having seven years relationship, like me, doesn’t guarantee anything. It doesn’t guarantee that you won’t fall for another guy. It is true that you are really in love with your current partner, yet if you think that there is a “better” offer, you will be kind of tempted, right?

It is like you choose a certain brand. Let’s say oil. You are very familiar with this oil – Oil A. You have known oil A since you were a teenager first helping out your mom cooking. When you are at the university, you start cooking for yourself, then you discover Oil B. It says that it has more vitamin, healthier and contains good fat. Would you not turn to it, or at least try to taste it? Then it is coming another oil, Oil C, that even has anti-aging protection and cheaper. Would you not fall for it?

Temptation. Unfortunately, it applies to every relationship. You see another cute guy. You meet this man who is wiser, kinder, and more mature. You are business partnering with a sexy woman who is very aggressive and attractive. Your ex called you for no reason asking how you are and, in the end, asking you out. Or the guy that you fell in love with when you were at high school suddenly appear in front of you and ask your number? Yeah, it is everywhere. It happens to everyone!

I fell once, and I won’t let myself fall for another time.

It was really tricky.
Yes, your feeling is really tricky, especially because I am girl who bases everything on emotion.

You can’t really classify and know for certain what feeling you are having at certain moment, to certain person, right? You can’t really see a word blinking in your forehead or chest saying LOVE, LIKE, ADMIRE, RESPECT, or FAN. Can you?

Sometimes, girls do need to think like guys, who barely base their thinking on their heart. They are logical.

Fewh, it was once, and it won’t happen again.

Yeah, I flew, running away from temptation. Just like what I learned from Sunday School. Remember Joseph and Pothiphar’s wife?

Having trouble sleeping thinking of this kinda stuff lately? My friend once told me “you knew the answer. It is in your heart. You just need to listen to it.”

It’s true.
We all know the answer.
It is your call to listen to it,
Or not.

p.s. there is even a TV reality show called 'Temptation Island'. Gee,..!

And the Oscar goes to,...

2008-02-25T20:52:00.002+07:00

Thank goodness Academy Award is celebrated properly this year. Thank to WGA that decided to end the strike! Thus, here are the winners:

Best Picture: No Country for Old Men
Best Original Screenplay: Juno
Best Actress: Marion Cotillard La Vie En Rose

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis There Will Be Blood

Achievement in Cinematography: There Will Be Blood
Best Film Editing Achievement in Sound Editing and Achievement in Sound Mixing: The Bourne Ultimatum
Best Original Score: Atonement
Best Original Song: Falling Slowly Once
Best Supporting Actress: Tilda Swinton Michael Clayton

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bardem No Country for Old Men

Best Animated Feature Film: Ratatouille
And some other winners,... (click on Yahoo Movie)

Congratulation to all winners!!

To Do List: Perservere!

2008-02-22T15:36:00.002+07:00

Perseverance is more than endurance. It is endurance combined with absolute assurance and certainty that what we are looking for is going to happen. Perseverance means more than just hanging on, which may be only exposing our fear of letting go and falling. Perseverance is our supreme effort of refusing to believe that our hero is going to be conquered. Our greatest fear is not that we will be damned, but that somehow Jesus Christ will be defeated. Also, our fear is that the very things our Lord stood for— love, justice, forgiveness, and kindness among men— will not win out in the end and will represent an unattainable goal for us. Then there is the call to spiritual perseverance. A call not to hang on and do nothing, but to work deliberately, knowing with certainty that God will never be defeated.

If our hopes seem to be experiencing disappointment right now, it simply means that they are being purified. Every hope or dream of the human mind will be fulfilled if it is noble and of God. But one of the greatest stresses in life is the stress of waiting for God. He brings fulfillment, "because you have kept My command to persevere . . ." ( Revelation 3:10 ).

Continue to persevere spiritually.

Source: rbc.org

Joel Osteen said,...

2008-02-22T10:01:00.003+07:00

As I was checking my mail, my eyes stopped at this specific e-mail. Normally, I go through 'unnecessary' e-mail in the evening; yet this morning, a little, tiny voice told me to open this e-mail.

Voila! I was totally overwhelmed by it. It is kind of saying to me that "if I want to be blessed, that I should bless and be a blessing to other people first!"

Enjoy reading it! And hope you can be blessed by it

---

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us…” (Ephesians 3:20).

God is able to do more than you could ever ask or imagine! But notice that this verse says it’s according to the power that is at work within you. How does God’s power work within you?

God’s power works in you when you are walking in love. God’s power is at work in you when you choose to forgive those who have wronged you. God’s power is at work in you when you bow before Him with a humble heart. He is at work in you when you are serving others by putting their needs above your own.

Remember, God wants to move on your behalf. He loves to bless you! Choose today to let God’s power work in and through you! As you allow Him to work in your life, He promises blessing beyond your wildest dreams! He will do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine. He’ll cause you to live the abundant life He has in store for you!

Source: joelosteen.com

Pasca Valentine

2008-02-15T23:50:00.004+07:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day

Surabaya was dressed up differently. Everybody was talking about love. Every space, building or house was decorated with pinky or red ornaments (okay, not every, yet there were a lot of pink/red touch).

Some were very happy to celebrate valentine. I envied my colleague who received a purple bouquet from her secret admirer. I , too, envied another colleague who prepared perfect gift for his girlfriend.

Why did you envy?
Coz, I have never received one in these past 7 years in a row valentine's day. Poor you, Nia! Hehehe,.. no worries, we never celebrate valentine for a cliche reason: everyday is Valentine for us :D Yet, you know, as a girl, it is always nice to receive small gift like those things, such as bouquet, chocolate or little bear :P

On the other hand, some were unhappy. I had a friend who had a little fight with his girlfriend. Thus, he, who actually wanted to celebrate Valentine Day having dinner with and giving gifts to his girlfriend, had to spend Valentine's Day all alone, having dinner with his mom. One public figure even signed his divorce letter on Valentine Day. Too bad for him!

Another drama in Indonesia regarding Valentine's Day celebration happened, exactly on Valentine's Day. Some parties didn't agree with Valentine's Day celebration, because they perceived it as something hedonist and unnecessary to be celebrated. A few groups did also think that it is against God's law.

That Valentine's Day is stupid, costly, or romantic and a must, I don't really care. What I know is Valentine's Day equals love. Is it a sin to love and express your love? I don't think so, unless you have a LOVE affair (alias selingkuh!).

Dreaming Project

2008-02-13T21:04:00.002+07:00

Have you ever lived in a dream that you know for sure it would never become a reality?
or have you ever enjoyed something so bad yet you know you would wake up in the morning or, even worse, fall from your bed and awake and all you dream would fade away?

Would you rather go on dreaming?
Or would you stop it and go back to reality?

I woke up, honey.
I rather live in the real world.

Project Closed

Eat You Like Crazy :P

2008-02-12T11:10:00.000+07:00

39%

Thanks God, I would barely eat my friends.

Trust me, this quiz doesn't lie, because I can hardly see blood, especially blood running down from one's forehead or arm.

I am 100% tame :P

Wings of Forgiveness*

2008-02-12T08:18:00.000+07:00

Do you think that forgiveness is easy?

I don’t think so!

I have been reading many articles about controlling your anger; redeem your emotion, the power of forgiveness, the Five Languages of Apology, Anger Management, and other similar topics. Why is it so important to control your emotion? And why do we have to learn to forgive?

Are all these so hard to do?

Last month, I was shocked with news about a loving-happy couple that was found dead in their house. The police suspected the wife shot her husband while he was asleep and took a shoot to her own head, committing suicide. Wow! What a drama!

A similar story happened some months back when a police was accused of murdering his wife. Another story was about an ex-boyfriend attempted murder a married woman, because he was jealous and wanted her back. And there was, too, a story about a staff that shot his boss because he didn’t get what he wanted.

How about a story of a mom committed suicide with her three kids? It is, too, similar.

What is the red line of these stories? Yes, anger management and forgiveness.

Those were all extreme stories, about hatred that turned into murder. How about stories in everyday life?

I know some people who haven’t spoken to their brothers or sisters for years and years, just because they had a clash in the past – unforgiving clash. I know someone that had to sacrifice his hands or head when he got really angry – he would punch a wall or smack a mirror. I, too, have a friend that had broken up with her boyfriend just because she was very angry that she said cruel things unexpectedly that hurt her boyfriend so bad.

How about me? I had experienced being ignored by my classmate just because I got a better grade than he did. I, too, had ever had a huge fight with Stefy just because I got so angry that I couldn’t talk it out. I also ever had a problem with one of my housemates just because she didn’t tell me that she took my cookies in the cupboard (it was truly PMS, really!). And I was hurt, until now, just because someone said a very wrong thing, in front of my face, which I don’t really remember again what he said – yet it was hurtful – that I can no longer be nice to him, no more.

Forgiveness seems to be the answer of any hurt, pain, and anger.

Yet, is it easy to forgive?

I wish!

*titled inspired by Indie Arie's song

Happy Rat New Year

2008-02-07T00:33:00.000+07:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

I haven't really celebrated Chinese New Year for these past five years. I was abroad for four years and then another year somewhere in Timbuktu :P

This year, I am celebrating Chinese New Year again! Yipee,.. I am not traditional Chinese that do usual celebration. Some people are eating out, praying to their forefathers, purchasing special ingredients, etc. just to celebrate Chinese New Year.

I have been raised in a multicultural family. My Dad has a strong Chinese background and my Mom has Dutch background. Thus, what I remember about Chinese New Year is the red envelope (Angpao).

As a child, I had always been waiting for that red envelop every year. Children always get some from older, married people.

I am not sure whether I will get some this year, but let's hope for the best! At least, I will nag my dad to give me one :D hehehhe

Happy Chinese New Year, peepz!
May this year bring you good luck and prosperity.

By the way, this coming year is the year of Rat. MY YEAR!! :D

Good Vs Bad

2008-02-02T10:39:00.000+07:00

My opinion that Suharto has been one of the most influential figure in Indonesia remains. After more than 20 days continuously seeing news about him everywhere, I thought 'his death announcement' will stop. It, indeed, has decreased; yet not stopped.

Mr. Wimar, one of my favorite figure, wrote this to end his article, titled "Soeharto escapes trial, but Indonesia does not":

"Bringing Suharto to trial is not just a case of criminal and civil justice. It is important to give people a sense of what is right and what is wrong. Ethical clarity has been clouded by people straddling fence for so many years. People forget the atrocities because they were kept well hidden. But the damage to the nation's confidence and self-respect is evident, and may well be the remaining legacy of Suharto's rule."

Applause to Mr Wimar, because I, personally, have never thought that way. I had wanted him to be imprisoned so bad (although I'd known for sure that it would NEVER happen), because he was such a bad guy. He did cruel things, especially to my ethnicity. Yet, it had never appeared to me that the utmost result of his punishment would be clarity of what is good or bad.

One commented on Wimar's website regarding this article:

and you know what, after his death, the society now can be grouped into 3:
- those who care a lot about Soeharto, who still defend all of his actions on the New Era, telling people like me that those actions (corruption, human right abuse, etc) was needed.

- those who still think objectively and not affected by those dramas we've seen since the beginning of the year

- those who don't care at all. this is the worse group, because as a nation we really need to pay more attention to the current situation.

I have to admit that I have joined the last group. Yet, I disagree if I am called the worst type of person because I don't care to the current situation. I don't care because I know that nothing would happen Cendana Group (even Tommy's case was a soap opera - not mere justice) and no one could ever touch Cendana Family. Thus, why should I bother with Suharto's case any longer?

Forgiveness is God's. We never know for sure what he had done in the past and what he'd done before he suffered. Call me naive and let me be naive about this case, because I believe there must be good part in every person's heart. And Suharto has one, too.

Heroes of the Month

2008-01-30T10:17:00.000+07:00

As you may know, Indonesia Ex-President (or some may want to call him Ex-Dictator) is passed away. Yet, he remains powerful.

Look at the media! Every media is about him. For these last 4 weeks, every page I have been reading has something about him: his past, his education, his funeral, the one who digged his grave, and even about his household caretaker. The funny thing I read about him this morning was national and international media is writing two different things about him. National media writes about Soeharto as a good leader, 'Bapak Pembangunan', National Heroes, and other positive issues. Yet, international media writes negative news about him.

Washington Post menurunkan tulisan dengan judul In Indonesia’s Ex-Dictator Soeharto. Sementara itu, ada pula judul-judul yang dibuat; Buried, Soldier, Savior, Strongman, Crook (Newsweek), Suharto, Tyran of Indonesia, Dies Without Facing Justice (The Independent), President Soeharto, 86; Indonsian Ruler Left Mixed Legacy of Prosperity and Untold Deaths (LA Times), Suharto, Former President of Indonesia and Brutal Rules, Dies (Timesonline), dan lain-lain. Yang jelas, gambaran judul beberapa media asing itu terkesan negatif dan memojokkan mantan presiden ke-2 RI tersebut (Jawa Pos - Opini).

Ndoro Kakung also proved that people are still curious about him. This morning (30/01), Yahoo! was full with many people searching about 'Soeharto'.

Are you curious about him? about his past, his conspiracy (Jawa Post also wrote that the US even supported Soeharto violating human rights around the 80's and 90's)? Are you curious about how he could be so rich?

Ask God. I think God can explain (singing Splender's song).

Love Letter for my dearest sister

2008-01-27T21:35:00.000+07:00

Dear Sister,

Sis,... I just discovered that he has another girlfriend!! Check his friendster!!!! Will she be his next victim? Will she?? Will she??

Poor him, because I think you are much prettier than she is! Hehehe,... But, I really thank God that you are no longer with him. I really praise Him that He has prepared someone else for you - someone normal, kind and loving.

I honestly am really glad that you have found your soulmate, which has been our best friend since our first year. It is very funny how God has prepared someone for you. He could have told you that in the beginning, thus you didn't need to suffer.

Yet, I reckon God always works all things together for good, right? I believe that every situation you have been through has been allowed by God, to teach you, to polish you.

I am really glad that your time is coming. It is so fast!

Do you remember that we had plan to hold our wedding parties all together in the same place, at the same time? I didn't expect that you would break that vow :P

I will pray for you two.

Honestly, I had to wipe my tears when I typed this post. Sis, I am really happy for you.

A big hug and kisses from me. See you soon.

Love,

Nie

Miss them

2008-01-26T23:26:00.000+07:00

I really missed some people lately

I miss Ardy, Nita, and Danz (Golda, thanks for coming over to Surabaya)
I miss Crew Family (hope to see you soon)
I miss OMF crew in the Netherlands (hope to see you soon, too)
I miss CMH crew (one day I will come and visit you! promise)

Sigh...
At least some of them are coming over this coming March
Yipeeee .....

Stefy, Why do you love me?

2008-01-24T23:35:00.000+07:00

Lady: Why do u like me? Why do u love me?
Man : I can't tell the reason... But I really like u...
Lady: U can't even tell me the reason... How can u say u like me? How can u say u love me?
Man : I really don't know the reason, but I can prove that I love u.
Lady: Proof ? No! I want u to tell me the reason. My friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her, but not u!
Man : OK...OK !!! Erm...because u are beautiful, because your voice is sweet, because u are caring, because u are loving, because u are thoughtful, because of your smile, because of your every movements...

Unfortunately, a few days later, the Lady met with an accident and became
comma. The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is the content :

Dearest,

Because of your sweet voice that I love u...Now can u talk? No! Therefore I cannot love u.

Because of your care and concern then I like u... Now that u cannot show them, therefore I cannot love u.

Because of your smile, because of your every movements that I love u...
Now can u smile? Now can u move? No, therefore I cannot love u...

If love needs a reason, like now, there is no reason for me to love u anymore. Do loves need a reason?

NO! Therefore, I still love u... And love doesn't need a reason...

"When loving someone... never regret what u do... only regret what you didn't do"
If God brings you to it...He will bring you through it..

Source: Touching & Inspiring Stories

Husband Mart is now open

2008-01-24T23:26:00.000+07:00

A store that sells husbands has just opened in the city where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is comprised of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is,however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend,but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.
The second floor sign reads :

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.
"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.
"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. But, there must be more, further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.
"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,456,789,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at Husband Mart and have a nice day!

Source: Touching & Inspiring Stories

Bye, bye, Mr. Ledger

2008-01-23T08:23:00.000+07:00

The actor Heath Ledger was found dead in a Manhattan apartment on Tuesday afternoon, the New York City police said.

The police said Mr. Ledger, 28, was discovered facedown in bed in an apartment at 421 Broome Street in SoHo. Police officials said that a bottle of prescription sleeping pills were found on a nearby night table, but that they did not know whether they played a role in Mr. Ledger’s death.

Mr. Ledger, the star of “Brokeback Mountain” and other films, was discovered by a housekeeper and a masseuse, the police said. The housekeeper had been in the apartment for some time before Mr. Ledger’s body was discovered, and she let the masseuse in when she at the apartment for a 3:31 p.m. appointment with Mr. Ledger, the police said. They said they did not know when Mr. Ledger scheduled the appointment.

When Mr. Ledger did not respond to a knock on the bedroom door, the housekeeper and the masseuse opened the bedroom and found Mr. Ledger unconscious. They shook him, but he did not respond. They immediately called the authorities and moved Mr. Ledger to the floor, the police said.

Source: NY Times

Nia: With money you can buy a precious, expensive bed; yet with money you can't buy a good sleep, nor happiness.

Belated New Year Resolution

2008-01-21T16:49:00.000+07:00

It is actually very late to wish "Happy New Year" to everybody. I have decided to postpone this posting because I wanted to wait for a special moment to publish this post. This time is very special, because we have just passed a normal New Year; and we are about to celebrate Chinese New Year (this is my year, mouse!!).

This post is about my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION. Very cliche, huh? This is also the special time because I have been thinking and praying about my New Year Resolution. I don't want to create one that sounds very classic, that I could never fulfill. However, I want to have one that is very personal and plausible.

I want to realize all (or, let's be realistic, most) of it by the end of 2008.

Yet, New Year Resolution is very important. Thus, this post is, too, very important, because you can help to keep me on track - remind me when I get lost. Okay?

1. Finance

Save 25% of my salary every month
Always give the tenth every month
Treat max. 2 people every month
Minimize eating out

2. Health

Keep eating healthy food
Exercise more! - Join local gym
Minimize eating out

3. Career

Have a better time management
Don't be late for work
REST!
Avoid stress and pressure - stay positive
Don't judge book by its cover

4. Beauty

Sleep on-time (before 11)
Don't put any make up on the weekend (unless there is a party/event)
Don't go to that skin doctor unless it is very urgent (and don't accept his treatment before asking as many questions as possible)

5. Character

Don't worry, be happy
Don't get angry (easily)
Open Up, Nia!
FORGIVE + FORGET!!
Courageous

6. GOD

Join (at least) one ministry at church
NEVER skip quite time
Read 3 - 5 Spiritual/Christian books (from cover to cover)
Pray for some people that I have listed
Pray for Stefy more often

7. Others

Read useful (motivation/leadership) books ( min. 3 books - from cover to cover)
Back to school(finger cross!!)
Write 2 -3 fictions
Speak fluent Dutch (better grammar)

Here they are! 7 promises I made in the beginning of 2008. I really long to fulfill all my promises by the end of 2008.

God, please help me! I will be lost without you.

Where is my TOFU and TEMPEH?

2008-01-15T17:15:00.000+07:00

I love Tofu and Tempeh. Soy milk is also a great company for my breakfast.

"Something has been missing on many Jakarta dining tables in the past two days: everyone's favorite tofu and tempeh dishes."

I was shocked to death when I read the Jakarta Post a couple of days ago, because it must have been wrong. Tofu and tempeh are a must in Indonesian culinary.

Tofu, tempeh and other products made from soybenas are no longer cheap, because "It was around Rp 3,300 (30 U.S. cents) per kilogram last January, but now it's Rp 7,400," Asep, who is head of the Tangerang Tofu and Tempeh Communication Forum. It is +/- 60% more expansive!!

He also said soybeans were imported from the U.S. and the price had been on the rise since January last year.

I thought our country produce the best soybeans, the best tofu and tempeh's.

I am really concern about this issue, not only because I love soybeans, but it influences many people's lives. For instance a life of a man who committed suicide because he, who was a snack seller (read: penjual gorengan) in Jakarta, discovered that the price of his ingredients has increased very high. He couldn't buy nor sell anything.

Where will we go?

Where will this country go?

Sigh,..

To forgive, yet not to forget

2008-01-14T23:21:00.000+07:00

Dear Mr. Ex-President,

In response to the current issue whether we forgive or not to forgive you, I will say that I may forgive you.

Lately, I have been thinking of how you have faced too many difficulties. Seeing your family perishing, one of your child after another was accused of doing criminals, and your favorite daughter-in-law was about to be divorced, have not been easy for you.

I started to feel very sorry for you.

It must have been very difficult for you. Maybe you have felt guilty. Maybe those sufferings were some of many reasons that have caused your illness. Maybe you have wished you could have done differently. Maybe you prayed to God to have another chance to re-do your life. Maybe, and just maybe.

Yes, I really feel sorry for you.

In your old age, I reckon you have felt sorry, somehow. I believe, you are (or have been) a good person, somehow (yet, this world had destroyed your good side). Thus, I think, I will forgive you and erase what you have done in the past, although I had ever suffered from the discrimination issue that you had planted in the past. I will forgive you, thus you may rest in peace in the palace, Astana Giribangun, next to your lovely wife.

But, don't expect me to forget, because I will tell the story about you to my children and grandchildren and (maybe) great grandchildren. I will teach them about love, not love of money and power, like what you had, but love to God and family. I will tell them that greed and hatred will bring them a great suffering. I will tell them not to be like you.

Ah, Sir, despite the awful things you have done in the past, I want to to thank you for a few good things that you did or brought to this country, which I may not know or realize.

Whether you cling to life or death, I pray for the best.

Best regard,

Nie'

After one sack of crisp

2008-01-08T21:35:00.000+07:00

People have various ways to express anger. One will scream, another will bottle up. One will cry, another will act as nothing is wrong. One will act crazily, another will find solitude.

I never express my anger. I rather bottle it up and flush it away with one sack of crisp or other snack. This one sack of magical crisp cures my anger. At least for the next 3 - 5 minutes (or more, depend on the size of the sack), I will forget about my disappointment, anger, or other disturbing things.

Unexpectedly, as soon as I finish my last bite of crisp, the feeling comes up again. This time is usually worse.

Gosh, I am run out of crisp now. Let me get another sack of crisp, we'll see what it can do.

Mode VERY UPSET: ON

Exclusive Interview

2007-12-24T15:18:00.000+07:00

The Jakarta Post is one of my favorite site. Once in a couple weeks, they publish 'Weekender', a booklet that is published every weekend, which contains a lot of 'light' reading. I read the latest Weekender and came across this article about Dian Sastro.

Now, I'd like to pretend that I am somekind of 'Dian Sastro' who is interviewed by The Jakarta Post.

My childhood ambition was ...
To be an astronaut and then when I grew older I wanted to be a model (it is quite a shame to admit).

Describe yourself in three words ...
I am moody. I can easily change, just in a split second. Sometimes it is a good thing, because it shows that I can adapt to any circumstances; however it is also bad, because you can never guess what I am. I am a hard-worker. I can do whatever it takes to achieve something. And I am a people person. I love to be among people.

My best trait is ...
I'm talkative and cheerful.

And worst ...
I'm difficult to open up

I would never ....
Consider snakes or other reptiles as pets. I don't even want to see them. I also would never eat any red meat, like beef, pork, lamb and other strange animals that are prepared for meal.

I laugh at ...
Scrubs, Extravaganza, and Bo Bo Ho

And cry ...
One Chinese movie about a mom and her only son (Mama Hao?), the Notebook, A Walk to remember, Love Actually, Chicken little. Reading touching books or articles. Listening to a sad testimony (like one during Christmas service this year)

Friends say I am ...
Crazy, talkative, sometimes jayuz, moody, hardworking and a good chef ;)

I would cross town for ...
Meeting my family, especially my lil sister and of course to meet Stefy (hate being separated for 5 years). I would also cross town for Banana Chocolate crisp from Lampung. Anyone from Lampung?

My favorite place is ...
My own room in Diemerkade, the Netherlands, which I no longer possess. Currently, I like to be in my own room. For hangout, sit and chat, I like Sonnen Cafe (of course accompanied by a long glass of Caswell's ice cappuccino)

The unforgivable is ...
Backstabber! (Burn them in the sand!!) and also when someone, who declare themselves as good friends, talk about you behind your back.

I can’t live without ...
God. Yet I do need certain things to keep me breathing, such as my family, Stefy, my laptop, and Agenda (hoping to have smartphone soon)

I always have in my bag ...
Water bottle, wallet, my gold make-up bag, tissue, wet tissue, antiseptic soap, mobile phone, CDMA, Agenda and ballpoint.

I don’t understand why ...
There are still so many poor people in Indonesia, yet the number of rich people is massively increasing.

I only lie when ...
I have to, but I can't lie to some people, even when I have to, just because I love them so much that I don't want to lie to them.

I wish I could ...
Study Master Degree in United Kingdom

Favorite song ...
Moon River, Baby it's cold outside. Love Jazz and Beatles.

Favorite movie ...
Sleepless in Seattle, Crash, Notebook, Love Actually, and Usual Suspect

My biggest fear is ...
When God doesn't acknowledge me anymore and abandons me

I’m upset when ...
Someone borrow or take my things and don't inform me about that. It equals stealing. I am also very upset when I can't find what I am looking for (e.g. when I look for certain clothes to wear to the office and I can't find it)

At 40, I will be ...
Having three children and one loving husband. I will work part-time in a social institution and teach. The rest of my time I will dedicate it for my family and do ministry in the church. I will write books in my spare time. Of course, I will still be in a good shape, because I will always love sport and do food combining ;)

If I could do one thing to change the world ...
Provide free eduction for anyone in the world and provide jobs after they finish their study. This will work to reduce poverty (financial and intelligence) in this world.

The best piece of advice anyone gave me is ...
Do your best and let God do the rest

Source: http://www.thejakartapost.com/weekender/122020.asp

Christmas Fairytale

2007-12-21T15:18:00.000+07:00

Do you believe in fairytale?

I do.
It is silly, because the target group of fairytale ‘industry’ is children age 3 -7. And who am I? Once again, I tell you, I am twenty-something girl that has a proper job, in the state of applying for Master Degree, and is about to get ready for a status called married. I am old enough to be called ‘old’. And, I am, too, well educated. And I like fairytale?

Thanks God, it is not a crime.

For me, fairytale is a whole new world, where you can be anything you want. You can be Cinderella, or one of the seven dwarfs, or Sherk, or if I want to keep my Asian culture, I still can be Mulan.

I can pretend that I was loved by two men who were fighting to win my love. I can pretend that I was half-dead waiting to be kissed. I can pretend to be very evil that I wanted to eat three pigs. Or, when I was sad, I could fly, like Peter Pan.

I don’t know whether it is my generation who is getting dumber, or my lil sister generation who gets enough nutrition that they are very smart. Coz, my sister doesn’t believe in Santa Clause.

Gosh, HOW COME?

Santa Clause is the BEST fairytale EVER! Because he is ‘REAL’. He has brought me a lot of presents, especially those I found under the Christmas tree and on my shoes. Although he was always accompanied by the black elves (zwartepiet), who were Avery cruel, in the end, I got the present. Sometimes, I got something that I have wanted for soooo long.

And my lil sister doesn’t believe in him? It is what we can call a crime. She is 8 y.o and she was so smart that when she was 5 or 6 yo, she said that Santa Clause is a fiction. It is very impossible to believe that someone (read: Santa Clause) knows what she wants and appears only once a year. Where does he live? How does he live?

My goodness! I didn’t ask those questions when I was her age.

My mom kept silent. She didn’t say anything about my lil sister’s comment, which was actually true. My mom did also keep silent to me when I was little, until my mom reckoned that I was old enough to know the ‘truth’. A painful truth, I called, because I was very disappointed to know that he was unreal. My mom bought my presents and gave them to fake Santa Clause.

“How come did he know everything about me?” I replied.
“Ah, I wrote everything in a piece of paper. What’s good about you? Have you been naughty that year of not? Everything!” she answered.

*Grumbling*

I hated to know that fact, because since then, my mom stopped dragging me to Santa Clause event. After that year (it was when I were 10 or 11 y.o), I sometimes attended Santa Clause event, accompanying my lil brother, who was as naïve as I had been before I knew the truth.

Santa Clause had been the best thing ever happened on Christmas day. But, now I know something better about Christmas Day, because on this day, a child was born to make a difference! That's what I call Christmas.

All I Want for Christmas

2007-12-19T10:33:00.000+07:00

Christmas Day is approaching. A song says "it is the most wonderful time of the year." No matter where I am at that moment, I always feel 'christmasy' (trust me this ain’t real English). Although I don't feel the cold, snowy (windy) weather, yet it is Christmas.

Here I am, in Indonesia, celebrating my first Christmas, after 5 years in a row, with my beloved family and Stefy. I do rejoice for this amazing opportunity. Heaven knows how much I have longed for this moment.

Family is the most crucial aspect of celebrating Christmas (apart from celebrating the birth of baby Jesus). I can have nothing to eat, no new dress and no martini champagne to celebrate my Christmas, yet as long as I have family surround me, I am more than happy.

Thank God, He has given me a lot of families to celebrate my Christmas, especially in these past 6 years.

First Christmas in Holland – 2002
It was deadly cold (since it was my first winter). I got ill, some days before the Christmas Day. Yet, I enjoyed Indonesian tasty food, handmade by my beloved uncle. Yes, it was my Christmas with my family in the Netherlands, uncles, aunts and cousins.

I and Anton went to Air Hidup church and met Ardy there! It was the second time I met him. I reckon, since then, I became quite close to him.

Second Christmas in Holland – 2003
I loved this second Christmas with my new friends – new roommates. We bought champagne, cooked and chatted till midnight. It was wonderful because it was very different than previous Christmas with family, which was celebrated formally. We did a lot of crazy things. We played games. We watched movies. FUN!

I and Ardy went to Air Hidup church to attend Christmas service, which appeared to be fun. I wore my blue kebaya, for the first time, and I was pictured with a cute guy from the church. Yipee!

Third Christmas in Holland – 2004
British style Christmas!
No, I didn’t celebrate Christmas in the Great Britain, yet I was invited by a half-British family to celebrate Christmas in their house. It was amazing! We sat around square table, decorated with red, green, and gold ornaments. We ate turkey (I had vegetables instead), parsnip (VERY YUMMY!), potatoes, and Christmas pudding.

We exchanged presents. I had mug and dolls from their beloved children. Instead of going home, I spent the night in their house, drinking gluhwein and slept over. Hm,… I miss them so bad.

I have been very close to this family since 2004. I love their children: Emily, Hanna and Tim. We watched cartoon film – the snowman – on the second Christmas day.

Apart from celebrating with the Crew Family, I went out with my beloved friends. I forgot what we did that time, but it must have been very FUN.

Forth (last) Christmas – 2005
I didn’t realize that it was my last Christmas, because I did enjoy it very much. I joined the choir at Crossroad church, thus I had to perform during Christmas eve and the Christmas Day. It was a big fun!!!

I was also very active in the Church, thus I helped their event. They had sort of games/workshop day. Everyone could come and join any workshops (related to arts) and joined the game. In the end of the event, we were entertained by two Christian bands.

On this Christmas day, I saw the pastor’s son, who looked like ORLANDO BLOOM (trust me, many people said the same thing, too) *drooling*

I celebrated this last Christmas eating chocolate fondue with my beloved housemates, Anita, Golda, Ardy, and Daniel. We drank champagne ‘till Golda got so drunk (LOL) that she hallucinated – LOL. We watched movie till the morning came.

The Crew Family also invited me to celebrate Christmas in their house. It was Dutch Christmas Celebration. I forgot what we had for dinner, yet, it was ALWAYS fun with the Crew Famiily. I remember that we watched extended version Lord of the Ring.

First (and last) Christmas at Meulaboh, West Aceh – 2006
I was very disappointed when my boss didn’t allow me to go home for Christmas. Yet, I was not sad at all, because I had a new family that I met just before Christmas day. He, Pak Erik, and his wife worked at Salvation Army. They were, in fact, ‘the boss’.

I went to their house early morning, 5 AM, to have Christmas service together with Salvation Army staff. We had breakfast together and went to church.

Celebrating Christmas in Aceh was very different, because you couldn’t see any Christmas tree or any Christmas ornaments. Nowhere. I was thankful for this sophisticated Christmas. Even more thankful because there was a strong rumour that celebrating Christmas in Aceh was a BIG NO, but it was very okay. Nothing happened. Thank GOD!

This is the most wonderful time of the year,…
Yes, I will celebrate my 2008 Christmas with my beloved family and friends.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Moving,..

2007-12-18T22:38:00.000+07:00

Finally I found the right name from my Indonesian blog - Cerita si Oma (Granny's Story)
Please visit: http://omabercerita.blogspot.com

ill (again)

2007-12-14T18:17:00.000+07:00

I can't recall how many times I have been ill this year, maybe more than 10?

But I did realize, this morning, that being ill is the ONLY time when I could withdraw myself from business and THINK.

...think about life

... think about my relationship with GOD

... think about what I want and I have to do next year (sort of writing New year resolution in my head)

and again (and again and again) learn to sit next to HIS feet, to listen to HIM and to DO what I suppose to do.

Being ill has always been a time of reflection, a time of withdrawal, because, otherwise, I would never rest and reflect on what I have been doing - with excuse of being too busy.

I should get used to being ill, and be thankful because I, then, have time to rest.

Who I am - according to Personal DNA

2007-12-10T15:11:00.000+07:00

You are a Leader

Your solid grounding in the practicalities of life, along with your self-assuredness and your willingness to appreciate new things make you a LEADER.

You're in touch with what is going on around you and adept at remaining down-to-earth and logical.

Although you're detail-oriented, this doesn't mean that you lose the big picture.

You tend to find beauty in form and efficiency, as opposed to finding it in broad-based, abstract concepts.

Never one to pass on an adventure, you're consistently seeking and finding new things, even in your immediate surroundings.

Because of this eagerness to pursue new experiences, you've learned a lot; your attention to detail means that you gain a great deal from your adventures.

The intellectual curiosity that drives you leads you to seek out causes of and reasons behind things.

Your confidence gives you the potential to take your general awareness and channel it into leadership.

You're not set on one way of doing things, and you often have the skills and persistence to find innovative ways of facing challenges.

You are well-attuned to your talents, and can deal with most problems that you face.

You're not afraid to let your emotions guide you, and you're generally considerate of others' feelings as well.

You prefer to have time to plan for things, feeling better with a schedule than with keeping plans up in the air until the last minute.

If you want to be different:
There's more to life than the practical - take some time to daydream and explore the aesthetic sides of things.

You are Encouraging

Your outgoing nature, understanding of others, and directness make you ENCOURAGING.

You want others to do well for themselves, and you generally believe in their abilities.

You often know what's good for people because of your caring nature and your worldview.

When you care about someone, you don't keep it to yourself: you are good at letting people know that you're thinking of them.

Because you trust people, you take violations of that trust very seriously.

You thrive in social situations, and even though you know who you like and who you don't like, you can interact well with many different types of people.

You have a healthy respect for people who have earned what they have, and you strive to be similar to successful others.

You are a loyal friend and a good listener.

If you want to be different:
Sometimes, in the course of being encouraging, you can be a bit judgmental—this can make it more difficult for others to follow your advice.

While you are an expert at getting the most out of the world and taking advantage of many experiences, you might gain some insight by taking the time to be alone, reflect on things, or just observe the goings-on in the world.

ABC - A Bitter Celebration

2007-12-07T08:34:00.000+07:00

"Birthday? Neeeh,... I better skip it this year."

Some people have been mentioning about my birthday - birthday gifts, treat, or party - although it was not yet my birthday. I chose to skip that conversation or at least tried to change the topic.

I can hardly explain why I felt that way, but I am not that excited to celebrate my birthday.

"I don't feel like celebrating," I said to a friend.

As I have my me-time tonight - no deadlines, no last-minute project, and no extra task - I gazed (upon my ceiling) try to figure out why I have been trying to reject the reality that my birthday is coming.

Am I scared of being old?

Is it hard to accept the reality that I get more wrinkles in my face?

Am I scared to hear my biological clock ticks even faster?

Or, am I scared because I don’t have enough money to treat my friends?

In the end of my meditation, I found an answer – an honest one. I am very scared and ashamed of myself because this year has not been a very good, productive year, in terms of my relationship with my Creator.

As I looked back, I listed so many disappointments, anger, sadness, scare, denial, runaway, hatred, lie, hypocrisy, and some more. I started my 2007 with being scared of people (Nia, they were actually just human, like you), continued with anger to some parties and running away from problems, and then I, whom I used to called myself, the social-humanist-Christian, became very pathetic and acted hypocrisy. As the end of the year was approaching, I planted a seed of hatred and being unforgiving.

In conclusion, I am not very happy with myself. In fact, I feel such a loser in front of Him.

“Nia , what have you done this year?” I heard Him asking me.
“Not much, Lord. I have been working like an atheist dog. I called Your name when I needed comfort and happiness in my heart. I closed my eyes and prayed when I felt bad about things and I needed forgiveness. I went to church every Sunday just to fill in my empty Sunday mornings and, actually, I occasionally forgot to give the tenth.” I answered.

At least I have my reason to skip my birthday this year.

What do I want for my birthday? I want a full year of 2007, renewed and refreshed so that I could start over my life in 2007, better and more responsible.

Lord, have mercy on me! I will change, starting NOW!

World AIDS Day - Today

2007-12-01T10:40:00.000+07:00

My Reflection!

2007-11-15T18:01:00.000+07:00

What do you see when you stand in front of a mirror?
Yes, of course, reflection of your beautiful posture.
But, have you ever hated someone so bad yet in the end you realized that she was your reflection?

Let me tell you my most memorable experience.

I had a colleague whose gender is similar to mine: woman. Woman is always so talkative that it could turn her into the scariest, most bossy creature in the world. She acted so bossy to everyone in the office. She was a complainer once in a while. Anyway, I could stand that; in fact I didn't really care about her. I did my own business, she did hers. Although we occassionally worked together, we both never stabbed each other's back (so far I know).

But, her attitude was quite an issue in the office. Beyond her bossiness, she was also the person that was ALWAYS right! Every mistake or accident that happened was NEVER caused by her. However, we, all, knew that she wasn't always right.

"Oh, you should ask her for that matter because she did it."
"I didn't know about it. She supposed to know"
and other millions excuses came out from her mouth.

I heard from a colleague that she never express her anger or disappointment but she bottled everything up in her heart. She always acted as she was the kindest, never-been-angry person. However, once in a while she exploded. When she exploded, she would madly point her finger on someone else, to blame everything she had bottled up for so long.

Freak!
It must be the glance you had right now. I said that too once in a while. Until last week, when Stefy got so upset because my attitude.

"Nia, if you keep doing this, I can't stand it anymore! Why is it always so difficult for you to say what is in your heart? why is it so difficult to express how you feel, what you like and not like? It is okay if you keep everything inside and promise you won't explode, but you always bottle up everything and there would be a time, you would explode. And i don't like it!"

Crap! Shoot! *$#!*#$?! (grumbling!)

In the end, I realized that I have disliked my reflection in someone else's body.
I promise myself that I would change. I will be a different person, because I don't want to be her when I reach my 30 or 40 or ever. No, I will never that kind of person. No.

Rather, I will be a nice, loving, humble and wise lady :)

- - -
I am changing
Trying every way I can
I am changing I'll be better than I am
But I need a friend To help me start all over again
That would be just fine I know it's gonna work out this time
'Cause this time I am changing
(Jennifer Hudson - I am changing)

Poisonous Pride

2007-11-14T08:49:00.000+07:00

I had been discreetly disappeared
Seeking solitude,
Acknowledgement,
and wealth.
But there isn’t any
Yet, I found troublesome, grief, and denial
I wished I hadn’t gone too far.

I try not to boast but I heard that some people were looking for me, looking for the real me writing some good, encouraging text. And I wasn’t available up till now. Because I have just come back from visiting denial, troublesome, grief, sin, silliness,… you name it. And I couldn’t find what I looked for.

Being a first child in the family has made me tough and perseverant, which is in one hand, very good. However, on the other hand, I was shaped to be a very independent person. Going abroad, all by myself, has also contributed to make me who I am right now, a very independent, sometimes self-centered person. I always say to myself, or to others, that I can do everything by myself.

“Do it yourself.” It is a statement that you currently hear everywhere. It is about not depending to other people while you can manage things by yourself. It is also a health issue, which pushes you to do things by yourself so that you can do more movement and lose weight.

But for me, my “do it yourself” level is over the limit. I always try to do every single thing by myself that I forget that I have others. I always feel VERY guilty when I ask other people’s help. By the time I stuck on some things, I always think that I can still do it by myself and don’t need other people.

In result I have overworked myself, or got very ill, or got frustrated.

I have been through this cycle a couple of times and it seemed that I got used to it; until I found another symptom in my cycle. I was very persistent to ask God for some helps. I have been too proud of myself, feeling that I didn’t need His help yet.

And, in the end, I found myself exhausted and starving for some helps.

At that point, I knew that I needed God so bad I could die without Him.

God, please mind Your forgiveness on me.

Bjork said that I am "Hidden Place"

2007-11-02T15:59:00.000+07:00

Your song that resembles you is "Hidden Place" Congradulations.
Take this quiz!

"Hidden Place"

Through the warmthest
Cord of care
Your love was sent to me

I'm not sure
What to do with it
Or where to put it

I'm so close to tears
And so close to
Simply calling you up
I'm simply suggesting

Now I have
Been slightly shy
And I can smell a pinch of hope
To almost have allowed once fingers
To stroke
The fingers I was given to touch with
But careful, careful
There lies my passion, hidden
There lies my love
I'll hide it under a blanket
Lull it to sleep

He's the beautifullest
Fragilest
Still strong
Dark and divine
And the littleness of his movements
Hides himself
He invents a charm that makes him invisible
Hides in the air
Can I hide there too?
Hide in the air of him
Seek solace
Sanctuary

We go to the hidden place I'll hide in the hidden place In the hidden place We go to a hidden place

I'm choco chip, ...

2007-11-02T15:35:00.000+07:00

...same with Ulmie.

"I'm very hard to resist." HAHAHAHAH. Really? Am I?

But Chocolate chip cookies are indeed delicious. Especially when they are homemade and fresh from the oven. Yum... yum,.. yum,...

Coffee Week

2007-10-31T12:47:00.000+07:00

God knows how much I need caffeine to get through this week

Coffee Psalm

(by anonymous author)

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal™:
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
And I will dwell in the House of Mochas forever.

Caffeine, come to momma.......!

Lady Rain

2007-10-29T16:57:00.000+07:00

Raining season is approaching in Indonesia. Two days ago, I saw some water dripping from the sky. It soothed my heart.

Last night, while I was asleep, it was raining cats and dogs. No wonder I slept like a baby.

I don't know what I exactly love about rain and walking in the rain, but for this season, I will say:

"I love walking in the rain, 'cause then no-one knows I'm crying"

Let it rain!

Rain, come down on me!

Thank You for Not Smoking

2007-09-28T13:27:00.000+07:00

"I just don't want to be a widow in the age of 40. "

(SMS Nia to Stefy 28/sept/07 - Asking him to never smoke)

"I will because the longer I live, the more chances I have to love you."

(SMS Stefy to Nia 28/sept/07 - Assuring that he will never smoke)

I didn't know that my life is like a romantic drama sometimes :)

Quote of the day

2007-09-27T12:13:00.000+07:00

"To achieve something you have never achieved before,
you must become someone you have never been before."

Jealousy - it's consuming

2007-09-26T10:15:00.000+07:00

Receiving her e-mail this afternoon has made me even more furious. Not to her, not to God, but maybe to myself and the situation I am now.

There have been a lot of “I wish” and “Why” lately. Although I have every said that I never regret my decision to return to Indonesia last year; I, now, boldly admit that I do regret it, in someway.

But, what could I do? I didn’t have enough support to continue my study, nor did I have opportunity to earn a lot of money in an instant. What could I do?

God, please don’t punish me because I really don’t blame you for my situation. I know that You always have a rainbow after the storm; although I still have no clue when my storm would end.

Knowing that one of my friend flew to the Netherlands a couple of days ago, receiving scholarship, has boiled my inner being. I am jealous.

Receiving a message that another best friend has started her job and she found her job very enjoyable. I am sad.

I wish I had more money.
I wish I were rich.
Why were I born this way?

Yes, another ‘I wish’ and ‘why’.

There are other issues that have made me gnash my teeth. Ah, I will utter another ‘I wish’ and ‘Why’. And I don’t want to.

I realize that it is a great pleasure to be a winner, to have or do something that nobody else has or does. But, I cannot always be in that situation all the time. There will be time when I am a spectator or listener or supporting-actress. It is not easy for me, because, this jealousy has consumed me.

Or is it because I underestimate myself too much?
I know that I never see myself as a winner. I always think that I need to do something extra to be in a ‘certain’ position. Do I actually have to?

God, let not this jealousy consume me.

Being Tagged!

2007-09-25T17:08:00.000+07:00

Dita has tagged me. Thus, this is what I was supposed to do

Rules :

Each blogger must post these rules
Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves
Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.

8 Habits:

Wake Up = open your eyes (wake up from you sleep) and close your eyes (to begin your day with a pray)
Always have a water bottle (or plastic container) in my bag, except when I go to the office. I have my pinky water container ready in the office.
When I watch DVD on my laptop, I always turn on the English sub-title.
When I am stressed out, I overreact (singing out loud, talking to myself)
I never order icy drink in the restaurant when I go for a meal.
One cup of coffee a day keeps my sleepy away :D
No day without fruit and veggies
The best reading position: lay down

People whom I want to tag are (sorry to give you sumtin to do!)
Ulmz
Iphien
Nasta
Putri
Ega
Nesya
Modjo
Fanni

D2D = Dare to Dream

2007-09-22T18:31:00.000+07:00

There will always be a time for you and your dreams to come true. But the problem is could you wait till your times comes.

A dream is a wish you heart makes, when you fall asleep, said Michael Buble. But, is that it? Does dream stop when you wake up? Does dream disappear when you open your eyes? Can you dream any longer than 8 hours a day?

As it is said in the statement above, the answer is NO, dream doesn’t stop when you wake up and YES, you can dream a little bit or much longer than 8 hours a day, it depends.

The only problem is would you wait.

We often dream to be something or to have something in our lives; but we never see it coming. Some of us wonder, have I just been fantasizing? Have I dreamed something unrealistic? The others would claim that God is cruel, or even worse, God does not exist.

Some of us, who, thank God, think that they are not fantasizing, might sadly think that they are incapable to reach their dreams or to make their dreams come true. The others consider themselves unlucky, or in Indonesia, if you are unlucky for some times in a row, people would say that you are cursed.

Complicated.

But having your dream come true is more than being lucky, being free from any spells. It is not how you dream. It is not about choosing the right God, in fact there is only one God, and I know He is NOT at all cruel.

It is, first, what you dream. It is beyond realistic or not; but is it good or evil? If you dream to have lots of money by robbing a bank, I will guarantee you that you will never see it coming. If you do see it coming, you won’t be freed from punishment, both by law or yourself. However, if you dream to be a doctor or to study overseas, it is possible. It is just how you walk in your path to reach that dream. When there is a will, there is a way; and, in fact, everything is possible, in God.

Second, would you wait?
Making your dream come true is a little bit longer than 8-hours sleep. You need to put some efforts to reach your dream. When you have put some efforts, you still need to wait.

Why should I wait?
Hm,… maybe you are tested, are you serious with your dream? Let’s say you dream to study overseas. You wait for one year and it hasn’t yet come true. Don’t be disappointed. Maybe you are tested whether you really want to study overseas or it is just your pride.

Another reason is to make you realize that you are not the only actor in making your dream come true. You need other people and, in fact, you need God to handle your dreams. Maybe you dreamed to have your own company. But,, instead of asking some helps, you did everything by yourself. You ended up bankrupt or overloaded. Why don’t you try to ask some helps from some people in your surroundings? And of course, surrendering your burden to God will do good to yourself.

Finally, I believe that something worth having does not come easy. It takes time, but when you get it, you will be overjoyed and blessed. You won’t stop give thanks for what you have received.

So, be happy to wait.

A writer once wrote like this:
I always imagine that God gave us a checkbook and we could write any numbers in it, without any limitation (Wow, I wish!). Unfortunately, there are always two mistakes occur: first, the amount of money written in the checkbook is too small; second, there are many who grew tired whet they queued in front of the teller, in the bank, and they walked away and forgot about the checkbook (what a pity).

Thus, D2D, be patient, and let you dreams come true.

Press Conference: Don’t judge me by my cover

2007-09-20T13:59:00.000+07:00

Forgiving is one case, but forgetting is another. It is always the case for me. I am a very forgiving person (sorry for acknowledging myself), I can easily say, “it’s okay. I forgive you;” but I can’t fully accomplish the forgiving process, because I cannot complete the hardiest part – forgetting.

Is my forgetting supply scarce?

I feel sorry for myself living in the limitation of forgiveness, but I always get upset when I remember certain things that happened in the past, that were caused by some people, whom accidentally I called ‘friends’. And, again, I fail to complete the forgiveness process.

Some people judged me for being too ‘holy’ (anyhow, no one is holy but God, right?). And I hate to be judged like that. They thought that I perceived them as the Gentiles and judged them for being too out-of-control. Anyway, are we now living in the ‘Paul and Barnabas’ era?

FYI only, I never see anyone that way. But, I think, I owe them an apology for making them felt that way. For those who feel that it is you whom I am talking about, I am sorry. I never see you as the ‘gentiles’ or the ‘bad guys’; I couldn’t get closed to you because I felt inferior. I felt there was nothing that I could do to become part of you. (it is up to you to believe)

Another issue that I would like to clarify is I am not a perverted, naïve girl that wanders to flirt with any guys. I am sorry for being too kind, if it was how you perceived me. I have learned from my past experiences. I did wrong. I was, too, kind in someway, to some people and, in result, they took it differently.

Fewh, now, I think we are equal, 1 – 1. I will now stop nagging about you being cruel and stabbing my back; and please stop talking about me. Let us now walk in our own paths and stop fussing each other’s business.

I don’t think that my forgetting jug is empty; I just need to get this business straight.

Please no more hatred between us.

Today's Quote

2007-09-20T09:03:00.000+07:00

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." (From the movie "Love and Death")

My Conclusion: Love is so complicated!

Work Vs Play

2007-09-17T08:03:00.000+07:00

When I visited one radio station in Jakarta, the program director told me that their listeners are mostly young businessmen/business women aged 25 – 32 years old, whose motto is ‘work hard, play hard.’

The program director added that it is essential for young people in Jakarta to have such motto, because if they don’t have balanced life, between work and play (read: having fun), they would be swallowed by the hectic lifestyle that will leave them with nothing.

Make sense.

Everybody, especially Indonesian, knows how terrible, yet amusing, living in Jakarta is. Work, work, and work. Traffic jam, traffic jam, and another traffic jam. Rain, flood, rain, flood. All in one. You have everything, from urban ‘till rural lifestyle; from natural disaster till skyscrapers; from jet set till homeless people.

Although I am not living in Jakarta (thank God), people here (Surabaya) have pretty much similar lifestyle: workaholic, shopaholic, food addict, corrupt, etc,.. you name it!

Thus, I reckon, we, as Christian, should have a slightly different motto: work hard, pray hard.

I, as well as Golda, have been nagging about being too tired, sometimes overloaded. Yes, I have felt that. I felt like some other people have 30 hours a day, yet I just have 24 hours.

How is my normal day like? Wake up early, rush to work, have lunch behind my computer, go home late, tired, quick dinner, quick bath, and then it is already 12 o’clock, go to bed.

Sad, sad, sad.

I have felt so tired with that kind of lifestyle. I want to change. I want to be more relaxed. I want to have more time reading, cooking, or doing my other hobbies.

A couple of weeks ago, I discovered that I have passed so many quite times with God. I no longer had special time with my Creator more than 10 minutes a day. Terrible!

I was reminded again that He, the living God, is the one and only source of my life. He is the centre of my joy, my working life, my life.

Work hard, pray hard, would you?

Here goes another earthquake

2007-09-14T21:04:00.000+07:00

Bengkulu September 2007 - feel sorry for them

My untold story, unposted letter

2007-09-12T19:45:00.000+07:00

Dear Mrs X,

I am very sorry that I have been avoiding you these last few days. I will assure you that I don’t hate you at all. I still care about you, but I am just speechless.

Knowing that you are getting a divorced has shed my heart. I am really brokenhearted. Imagining you walking away from that door, holding your daughter’s hands and waved to your hubby, I cried a little.

I don’t know whether I should be happy for you or be grieved, because I really am speechless. One hand, I know that you have been burdened by lots of problems in your marriage; on the other hand, I adore your family. I have learned a lot from you. I ever dreamed to have such a happy family, like yours.

Thus, I really am brokenhearted.

But, you have chosen your way. And, I cannot support what you have done, because I think it ain’t right.

Where is your idealism? Where is your vow to love him no matter what, for better, for worse? Where is your vow in front of God?

And now you are with another guy? Should I trust you that you actually have a problem in your marriage?

I am not judging your life.
I am just grieving, looking for someone to blame.

I am sorry, but I will still avoid you for the next couple of days, or weeks, because I really don’t know what to say or do.

All the best,

Nia

Which one should I choose?

2007-09-10T15:02:00.000+07:00

Java Jazz 7-9 March 2008

International Artists 2008 - Wishlist

Basia, Bill Evan, Bobby Caldwell, Candy Dulfer, Chico & The Gipsies, Chris Botti, Chucho Valdes, Corinne Bailey Ray, Dave Koz, David Sanborn, Ed Motta, Erykah Badu, Everette Harp with Michael Paulo Band, George Duke Band, Harvey Mason, Herbie Hancock, Ivan Lins, Jeff Kashiwa & Greg Karukas, Jeff Lorber, Jocelyn Brown with Bluey Maulnick (Incognito), Joe Sample & Randy Crawford, Johnny Thompson Singers (Gospel), John Legend, Josh Stone, Joyce & Ivan Lynne, Kiki Ebsen & Brian Simpson, Kirk Whalum & Family, Lalo Shefrin, Marcus Miller, Matt Bianco, Maysa, Najee, Noryn Aziz, Omar Sosa, Paul Jackson, Raoul Midon, Ray Parker, Richard Bona, Roberta Flack, Sara Gasrek, Step Ahead, The Manhattan Transfer, Tony Monaco, Vaughn Suponatime - Tribute to the Music of Frank Sinatra

Or,...

Jakarta Jazz 23 - 25 November 2007

International Artist - Wishlist

Matt Bianco, Gypsy King, Swing Out Sisters, Casiopea Reunion, Manhattan Transfer, Sade - Al Jarreau, Norah Jones, Chris Botti, Michael Frank, Michael Bubble, Joss Stone.

Reguler shows: Kyoto Jazz Massive, Pet Metheny, Bobby Caldwell, M-Pact, Poncho Sanchez, Mezzoforte, Incognito feat. MAYSA!!, Eldissa, SMOMA, Billy Cobham, Kyrsztof Scieranski, The New York Voices, Yellow Jackets, Drum Jungle, Akira Jimbo All Stars, T-Square, Igor Brill, Brooklyn Funk Essentials, Sheila E, Mindi Abair, Jack De Johnette, David Benoit, The Music of Marvin Gaye & Motown, and all-star jam featuring DJ Logic, Jason Miles, Ledisi, Greg Adams, Nick Colionne and very special guest Candy Dulfer! [tick!]The Bad Boys [Don Grusin, Bill Sharpe, Kazumi Watanabe, Tetsuro Sakurai, Masato Honda] [tick!]Soul Express-Jody Watley, Jeff Lorber, Chris Standring